pg
317
PART VI The Will--The Conscience--The
Divine Life In The Child
I.--The Will
Government of Mansoul
[The Kingdom of
Mansoul is Charlotte Mason's way of explaining how we
use our will to control our impulses and actions. The place that those
things originate is within us, in our souls. So she calls this the
Kingdom of Mansoul--the inner person within each of us.]
Now we need to consider a topic that's of extreme importance to every
living being who is obligated to live a reasonable life on earth, and
who hopes to go on to a better place after this life. I'm talking about
governing the Kingdom of Mansoul. Every child who reaches a certain age
will have this duty. It's up to his parents to teach him what's
required of him and how to do it. Governing the Kingdom of Mansoul can
be likened to governing a well-ruled state. Good government has three
branches, each with its own function. But all three branches are ruled
by one
minister, not by a multitude of counselors.
Executive Power Rests in the Will
Outside of the three branches sits the Will. Like a Roman guard, he has
soldiers under his authority to command. He tells one to go, and he
goes. He tells another to come, and he comes. He tells a third to do
something, and he does it. In other words, the executive power is in the Will. If
the Will has learned to have the habit of
pg 318
using his authority, then he gives commands in a tone that seems to
expect obedience, and his kingdom is at unity. But if the Will is weak
and unreliable, then his entire kingdom of Mansoul will be torn with
disorder and rebellion.
What is the Will?
I don't know exactly what the Will is. We can see its effects in all
people, but nobody can define exactly what it is. Yet more harmful
mistakes are made by educators in this area than any other. Therefore,
it's worthwhile to see if we can consider what the Will does, and what
its limits are.
Some People Go Through Life Without Any
Deliberate Act of Will
First of all, the Will doesn't necessarily enter into any of the
subjects we've already discussed. A child can reflect and imagine, be
inspired to want to know, be driven by power, or crave attention, may
love and admire, may form habits of attention or obedience or diligence
or laziness, involuntarily.
In other words, he can do all of those things without ever once
intending or determining or willing
himself to do it on his own. In fact, this is so true that there are
people who live their entire lives without even one act of determined,
deliberate will. There are people who are good-natured and easy-going
who have only known smooth lives [so
that no act of will is ever needed], and other poor souls who
have never had one stroke of luck and have drifted so far from their
homes that those they grew up with would never recognize them.
Intellectual
ability does not guarantee a strong will. For instance, Coleridge was
intellectual, but he had such little power to control his will that
others had to take care of him. His thoughts were as much out of his
ability to control as his actions. People went to hear him speak great
thoughts, but those thoughts
pg 319
were just disconnected ideas pouring forth, and only related to each
other by association. Yet his mind was so splendid that his thoughts
flowed forth methodically, all by themselves.
Character is the Result of Behavior That is
Regulated by the Will
Everyone knows the dignity and strength of character that
comes from having a determined will. In fact, character itself is the
result of behavior controlled by a person's own will. We sometimes say,
So-and-so has a lot of character, or another person lacks character. We
could just as easily say, So-and-so has a strong will, or another
person has no will. We all know of people who had talent and potential,
yet their lives were ruined because they lacked a strong will to chart
the course of their lives.
The
Three Functions of the Will
The will controls passion and emotions, directs desires to their proper
channels, and rules bodily appetites. Note that passions, emotions,
desires and appetites were already there. The will gains strength as
it exercises its power by restraining and redirecting them. Although
it's tempting to think of the will as a thing of the spirit, it works
like any other part of the body in its need for nourishment and
exercise in order to grow and become more capable.
Some
Novelists Forget that the Will Has Limitations
In novels, the villain is an interesting person (at least in old
novels!) because he always has a strong will, but, instead of using his
will to control his violent passions, his will becomes an accessory in
acting them out. The result is an evil being who seems to go against
nature itself. And no wonder, because, according to natural law, the
part
pg 320
of the body that doesn't do what it's supposed to gets weaker as a
natural and logical consequence. Finally, it disappears altogether, or
becomes practically invisible. The will is in the seat of authority. It
can't transfer its power to the rest of the body. The chaos would be
too terrible. It would be like a riotous mob attacking and taking over
the government so that confusion is everywhere and there are shootings
in the street and attacks on innocent people.
Parents
Fall into This Metaphysical Blunder
I feel compelled to draw your attention to the will's limits to do its
own work, because parents all too often make the same mistake that
authors do. They admire a strong, determined will, and so they should.
They realize that if their child is going to influence the world, it
will be by his force of will. So what happens? The baby pitches a fit
because he wants to play with a forbidden object and the mother praises
his 'strong will.' Or the three-year-old has a temper tantrum in the
middle of the street and refuses to go one way or the other with his
caregiver, and that is credited to his 'strong will.' He insists on
having absolute run of the house, and monopolizes his sister's toys,
all because of his 'strong will.' And then comes a conflict of opinion.
On the one hand, the parents decide that the child's will must not be
broken, no matter what, so his temper is allowed to rage with impunity.
In another family, the parents are determined to break the child's will
at all costs, so the poor little child is subjected to a sad series of
punishment and repression.
Stubborn
Willfulness Really Indicates a Lack of Will Power
But, all this time, nobody understands that the child's real issue is a
lack of will. He is
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in a state of total
willfulness.
Unfortunately, that's the word we use to describe the lack of the will
to have any power to control. A better word would be
willessness, if that were a real
word. It is this confusion between willfulness and domination by the
will that causes parents to make harmful mistakes, even if the child
isn't encouraged to be stubborn, or isn't harshly repressed. The
parent's confusion makes them neglect to cultivate and train their
child's will. The will is a gift of God and should be used to temper
and direct every other gift into useful channels, whether beauty or
genius or strength or skill.
What
is Willfulness?
If digging in one's heels by sheer will isn't what will is, then what
is it? Look at this way. If the bit and bridle are removed so that
there is no means to control the child's appetites, desires and
emotions, then the child who is let loose with his own personal
tendency, whether it be resentment, jealousy, desire for power, or
greed for things, will be just like poor
Mazeppa, the Polish
nobleman who was strapped to a wild, strong horse and hurtled along
swiftly with no power to help himself. There is no limit to passions
and appetites and their persistence, if the will, which was appointed
to control them, is removed. It is the force and determination of
appetites and passions that are called 'willfulness' and mistaken for
exertion of the will. But it is really
determination that is being
manifested, not will. The child is being hurtled along by his passions
and appetites with no means to help himself because his will, which
should have been his bit and bridle to balance his character, has been
left undeveloped and untrained.
The
Will has Superior and Inferior Functions
The will has functions that are superior and inferior, or, moral and
mechanical.
pg 322
If the will is neglected so that it's too flabby and weak to do its job
in the higher moral offices, it may still be functioning enough to
control
such matters as coming or going, sitting or standing, speaking or being
quiet.
The
Will is Not a Moral Faculty
Although it's impossible to attain moral excellence of character
without a strong, determined will, the will itself is not moral. It is
merely a tool. A man can call forth great strength of will to
control his appetites and desires, and yet still be an unworthy man.
For instance, a man can exert his will to keep his base passions in
check because he has other more important yet unworthy motives, such as
vengeance.
A
Disciplined Will is Necessary to Heroic Christian Character
Although a disciplined will isn't necessary for salvation, it
is necessary to develop Christian
character. Gordon, Havelock, Florence Nightingale, St. Paul, could not
have been what they were without a strong will. This is only one way in
which Christianity reaches even the weakest souls. There is a wonderful
painting in the Louvre,
'Magdalen'
by Guido Reni. Her mouth has obviously never been set with any resolve
for good or evil. The lower part of her face has a helpless look of
just abandoning itself to the emotions of the moment. But the eyes
raised to meet the gaze of mysterious eyes that are not in the picture,
seem to totally transfigure the rest of the face. Looking at the eyes,
it seems as if the whole face is aglow with a passion to serve, love
and surrender to God. God's divine grace can accomplish this
transfiguration even in weak, unwilling souls to enable them to do what
they can. Yet their ability to serve
pg 323
will be limited by their past. But a child with a Christian mother
whose priority is to train him to live a Christian life, won't have
that problem. As soon as her child reaches an awareness that he belongs
to God and serves Him, his mother can have him already prepared for
that high service. He can be a warrior in God's army from the time he
is young. He can have an effective will, one that can will and do His
good pleasure.
The
Sole Practical Faculty of Man
Before we consider how to train the will, which is the 'sole practical
faculty of man,' we need to know how the will works. We need to
understand how it does the work of managing everything that is done and
thought in the kingdom Mansoul. 'Can't you make yourself do what you
want to do?' Guy asks poor Charlie Edmonston, in Charlotte Mary Yonge's
Heir of Redclyffe.
Charlie has never learned how to make himself do
anything. There are probably some
people who haven't even progressed far enough to want to do anything,
but most of us do want to do well. The problem we have is how to make
ourselves do what we want to. And this is what divides effective people
from ineffective ones, the great from the small, and divides truly good
people from well-intentioned, respectable ones. The more a man has the
power to compel himself and control his impulses and his personal
wishes, the more he can depend on himself and be confident of how he'll
act in a crisis.
How
the Will Operates
How does the ruler in the heart of a person behave? Does he force his
members to stay in line with stern reprimands of 'thou shalt' and 'thou
shalt not'? Not at all. Does he do it by applying his reason and
mustering his motives? No. John Stuart Mill taught us that 'the only
thing man ever does, or is able to do, with physical matter
pg 324
is to move one thing to another.' We shouldn't be surprised if great
moral good comes from what seems like inadequate means. A little bit of
experience in a daycare can show more effectively than words what the
will can do. A baby falls, gets a bad bump and cries piteously. An
experienced caregiver may not kiss the bump to make it better, or show
any pity at all. She knows that could make things worse. The more she
pities, the more the baby cries. Instead, she quickly distracts him by
changing his thoughts. She carries him to the window to look at the
horses, or gives him his favorite picture book, or most cherished toy,
and the child stops mid-sob, even when he is badly hurt. The
experienced caregiver illustrates the role of the will in a person. By
force of will, a man can distract himself by changing his thoughts. He
can transfer his attention from one topic to another, and he can do it
with a burst of mental force that he's only vaguely aware he possesses.
And this ability is enough to rescue a man. The power to make himself
think only of the things he's already decided to think about for his
own good can make him a man.
The
Way of the Will:
1. Incentives
A man's thoughts might be wandering on some forbidden pleasure and
keeping him from his work. But he gathers his wits and deliberately
fixes his attention on the incentives that motivate him the most to
keep working. Maybe he focuses on the relaxation and pleasure that
he'll
be entitled to after he finishes his job, or the responsibility that
binds him to completing his task. His thoughts stay on the path his
will determines them to stay on, and his works seems less burdensome.
2.
Diversion
Perhaps a man suffers a slight injustice that brings up a flood of
resentment. The offender shouldn't
pg 325
have done it, he had no right, it was mean, and so on, going through
all the bitter thoughts we replay in our minds when someone offends our
precious self. But if the man has control of his own will, he will
refuse to let this go on. He doesn't argue within himself by saying,
'This is not right, it isn't really his fault, after all.' He knows he
isn't ready for that yet, the offense is too fresh in his mind.
Instead, he forces himself to think about something else--a book he
just read, an email he needs to compose, anything interesting enough to
distract him. Later, when he allows himself to replay the offense in
his mind, he finds that the bitterness is lessened and he's able to
reflect on the matter with a more detached and cool head. This doesn't
just work for rising resentment. It works for every kind of temptation
we run across.
3.
Change
of Thought
Suppose a man is bored with his work. The mundane sameness of his task,
the weariness of doing the same thing over and over again, fills him
with disgust and despondency and he begins to slacken his effort,
unless he's a man who has control of his will and refuses to allow
himself to waste time being idle while thinking of discontentment. It's
always within his power to find something pleasant to think about,
something outside himself. And he does, and the result is a happier
frame of mind so that, no matter what his task is, it seems lighter.
The
Way the Will Works Should be Taught to Children
It is useful to know what to do when we're overrun. Knowing how to use
our will is the secret of a happy life, and it's worth teaching
children about it. Are you irritable? Change your thoughts! Are you
tired of trying? Change your thoughts! Are you craving things you're
not supposed to have? Change your thoughts!
pg 326
There is a power within you that will enable you to turn away from
thoughts that make you unhappy and tempt you to do wrong, by thinking
of things that will make you feel happy and motivated to do the right
thing. It's deceptively simple, but it's the one single secret tool
that a strong-minded person has over his own self. It's the power to
make himself think of what he decides to think about and forbidding
himself to think about things that breed trouble.
Power
of Will Implies Power of Attention
One can see that the will has great power within its sphere, but when
you
stop to think about it, that sphere is a pretty narrow limit. It takes
a lot of preparation and maintenance for a strong will to have power to
control a person's behavior. For instance, the person must also have
developed the ability to focus his attention. We've already talked
about how important this is in earlier chapters. Some people are so
scattered that they can't hold a connected thought for more than five
minutes, even if they try or if they are pressured to. If they've never
learned to devote all of their focused attention to a subject, then
it's likely that no amount of determination, even if they had a strong
will, could make them able to keep their mind on one thought, whether
it's theirs or someone else's thought. And this is where parts of the
intellect overlap. Ability to apply one's will implies that a person is
able to focus their full attention when they choose. So, before a
parent can train a child's will, the child needs to develop the habit
of keeping his full attention focused.
Habit
Can Frustrate the Will
We've already mentioned how an impulse to do good that isn't followed
through can become a habit. Habit can be a helper or an enemy, and
often frustrates the will. The desperate alcoholic might determine with
all the will he has in him. He refuses to even cast his imagination
pg 327
on drinking. He forces himself to think of other things. But it's all
in vain. His mind can't resist thinking of what it's grown
accustomed to thinking. His habit is too strong and his will is too
weak. We've all experienced how habit conquers our will in less
important issues. All of us have some lazy, procrastinating, persistent
habit that our reformed will struggles with daily. But I've already
said a lot about the parent's duty to make their child's way easier by
creating a path of helpful habits. It's not necessary for me to say any
more about how habit can help or hinder the will.
Such
an Effective Instrument Must Be Used Reasonably
A person's ability to reason has to be cultivated if his will is going
to rule well. He must have some concept of
why daily reading is useful,
why orthodox faith is proper,
why a citizen should do his duty.
Otherwise, his will is going to be weak and inconsistent. It won't be
effective, and, even worse, he might take up some incorrect or even
cruel idea, and do a lot of harm, while believing that he's working up
his will for some noble effort. A parent should attempt to make the
child conscious of the power of his will only after the child is
trained to use his powers of reason in a responsible way.
How
to Strengthen the Will
We'll consider another limitation of the will next. But first, once a
parent has taken the trouble to prepare his child to use his will, how
does he strengthen that will so that the child can depend on it to
eventually control his own life? We've already spoken about
pg 328
how important it is that the child be trained to be obedient. But
obedience is only valuable as far as it helps a child make himself do
what's right. Any act of obedience that doesn't give the child a sense
of conquering his own inclinations will enslave him. His resentment for
the loss of his freedom may compel him to rebel at the first
opportunity. That's why so many children who are brought up too
strictly
don't do well. But when you have the child's cooperation, and when he
himself wants to do the thing, then his own will, not yours, is
compelling him. And then he has begun the greatest effort and highest
achievement of human life--making himself do what he needs to do. Let
him know what a noble thing he has done. Let him enjoy a sense of
triumph. Congratulate him when he is able to make himself bring his
wandering thoughts back to his tedious math sheet, or when he makes
himself complete a task he started, or forces himself to throw off a
dark mood and change a sour look into a smile.
The
Habit of Managing Oneself
Then, as we said before, let him know the secret method of using his
will. Explain to him that, by exerting his will, he has the capability
to redirect his thoughts from what he shouldn't be thinking about, to
whatever he wants to think about--schoolwork, prayer, chores. He can be
brave and strong and make himself think about whatever he chooses. Let
him try it out with some experiments on some minor thoughts. Because
once he gets his mind on the right thoughts, everything else takes care
of itself, and he'll be sure to do the right thing. If he feels
irritable, and unkind thoughts come into his mind, the plan is to think
hard about something else, something good, like his next birthday, or
what he wants to be when he grows up. This concept isn't taught all at
once,
pg 329
but little by little, a bit at a time as opportunities come up. Once a
child gets into the habit of managing and controlling himself, it's
amazing how much self-will and determination a young child can have. I
once heard a lady tell her four-year old nephew, 'Restrain yourself,
Thomas,' and Thomas did restrain himself even though he had been
pitching a fit about some minor annoyance.
Educating
the Will is More Important Than Educating the Intellect
In all of this, the child's will is being trained and strengthened. He
is learning how and when to use his will, and his will is getting
stronger and more capable every day. I'll add one more comment from Dr.
Morell's
Introduction to Mental
Philosophy: 'When it comes to shaping a person's destiny,
educating the will is far more important than educating the intellect.
Theory, doctrine, consideration of laws, is never enough to develop the
habit of doing the right thing consistently. We learn to do by
doing. We learn to overcome by
overcoming. Every time we do the
right thing because we've chosen to out of principle, whether because
we've been told to, or because we're following someone's example, a
greater mark is made in our character than all the theory in the world.'
II.--The Conscience
Conscience
is Judge and Lawgiver
But the will certainly doesn't govern Mansoul all by itself. The will
has the final say, because we can only
do what we
will ourselves to. But there's
something even more powerful behind the will,
pg 330
and the will only expresses what it commands. That something is the
conscience, and it sits supreme in the inner chamber of man. Conscience
is the one who gives the rules. It says 'thou shalt' or 'thou shalt
not' and the will does what it says. It's also the judge. When the soul
is guilty of some offense, the conscience calls upon it to give
account. And, once the conscience has declared a verdict, there is no
appeal.
'I
am, I ought, I can, I will'
'I am, I ought, I can, I will.' These are like four steps of the ladder
that St. Augustine wrote about when he said we could 'go up on the
stepping stones of the old, sinful man we cast off and are dead to, and
ascend to higher things.'
'I am' means that we can know ourselves and understand what we're
really like. 'I ought' means that we have a moral judge inside us. We
feel like we're subject to it. It lets us know what our duty is and
compels us to do it. 'I can' means that we know we have the ability to
do what we know we're supposed to. 'I will' means that we resolve to
use the ability we know we have to do what our inner moral judge has
urged us to do. Resolve is the first step in actually
doing. These four
make a perfect, beautiful chain. Man is designed so ingeniously to
carry out right actions, that we wonder how it's even possible for him
to do the wrong thing. But the sorrowful mysteries of sin and
temptation aren't for me to solve here. The reality is that no life is
immune from ruin and loss. That's why I'm so concerned that parents do
their duty to prevent that from happening to their children by using
the information I share. Probably 99 out 100 people who lives are
ruined can point to parents who never bothered to do anything about
their habits of laziness, sensual appetites and stubbornness when they
were young. Their parents didn't strengthen them by teaching them the
kinds of habits needed to live a good life.
pg 331
Divine
Grace Won't Make Up for Parental Neglect
We live in a redeemed world and God's divine grace and help assists us
when we try to do something right in raising our children. But there's
no reason to hope that divine grace will step in as a substitute for
every area we choose to neglect when we don't have to. We don't expect
miracles to make up for our neglect in the physical realm. If a child
gets rickets because his parents neglected his nutrition, he'll have
deformed limbs for the rest of his life, even if he has other blessings
to thank God for. A weak will, bad habits, a conscience that hasn't
learned to discern right from wrong, limit many Christians all their
lives because their parents failed to do their duty, and the person
didn't have enough power as a child to overcome the lack.
Conscience
Is Not an Infallible Guide
Where the conscience is concerned, parents who let children do whatever
they want [
and neglect to guide them]
do real harm to them. The parents assume that their child is born with
a conscience, and they hope his behavior will be checked by his
conscience. Other than that, they don't involve themselves. The child
will have to work things out with his conscience himself. Parents like
this either assume that a totally mature conscience is something a baby
is born with, or that it grows with the child like his hair and his
legs, and doesn't need the kind of religious guidance that the spirit
does.
That kind of thinking assumes that the conscience is infallible. But
believing that is a delusion when common sense and experience shows us
clearly the kinds of erroneous things people feel are the right thing
to do. The inconsistence of a conscience that hasn't been taught
pg 332
is so common that there are sayings about it: 'Honor among thieves,'
'Strain out a gnat and swallow a camel,' are about misguided
conscience, and 'more wishful thinking than truth,' and 'none are so
blind as he who refuses to see,' are about the even more common cases
of those who knowingly trick their conscience into yielding.
Conscience
is a Real Power
Conscience is not a foolproof guide. It's capable of not even noticing
the most outrageous wrongs, yet throwing the book at someone over some
trivial,
insignificant matter, like the Pharisees who tithed even their spices,
but neglected to adhere to the more important laws. Conscience can be
tricked and persuaded that evil is good, and good is evil. If the
conscience is so prone to weakness, what use is it against man's
natural inclination to be selfish? Is the conscience merely a figment
of our imagination, or a creation of our own minds? Is it nothing more
than my opinion of my actions and the actions of others? On the
contrary! The fact that consciences can deviate might be the most
convincing proof that it exists and has real power. As Adam Smith said,
'Not just the best men, but even the worst men, feel and acknowledge
that the conscience is the supreme authority. Even those who try to
present who they really are sincerely to the world, work hard deceiving
themselves so as not to see their own character.'
The
Spiritual Sense That Helps Us Know Good and Evil
For our practical purposes, it's not necessary to settle obscure
questions
such as what conscience is, or whether it lies in our emotions or
reason, or outside of both. But we do know this--that conscience is as
essential to our nature as
pg 333
affection and reason. Conscience is the spiritual sense that gives us
knowledge of good and evil. A six-month baby who isn't even speaking
yet will show evidence of a conscience. A scolding look will make him
look down and hide his face. If the mother experiments by giving the
baby that same look when the baby is happy and not doing anything
wrong, the baby will be confused. His conscience hasn't been instructed
yet and makes him feel guilty. Until his conscience learns better, it
will condemn him on someone else's word.
Incidents like this reveal what a serious responsibility the parents
have. The child is born with a moral aptitude, a delicate sense that
helps him to discern what's right and wrong. He also has a sense of
delighting in good in himself and others, and being repulsed by
badness. But the poor little child is like a navigator who has a
compass and doesn't know what the letters
N, S, E and
W mean. He is born to love good and
hate evil, but he doesn't really know what's good and what's evil. He
doesn't trust his own judgment, but in his simplicity, he trusts in the
guidance of others. It's astonishing that the God of the universe would
allow imperfect moral parents to be entrusted with the making of an
immortal being. But it's even more astonishing that parents take on
that trust without considering how important their responsibility is.
A
Child's Conscience Isn't a Supreme Authority, but an Undeveloped Ability
If we look at the child's conscience as something that needs to be
developed rather than a supreme authority, then we must consider how
this immature guide can be educated to do its important job of giving
the will information, and telling the person what to do. A badly taught
pg 334
conscience can make serious errors. A man can slaughter the faithful
because his conscience tells him that they must die. On the other hand,
nobody attains a godly, righteous and controlled life without being
ruled by a good conscience. A good conscience doesn't just state right
and wrong. It has been taught to
know
the
difference between them. Many people can taste such subtle differences
that they could qualify for a job as a professional tea taster, but
that subtle
discernment is a waste and useless to tea companies, unless he can
train his tongue to differentiate between tea. Only then can he make a
living from his talent.
The
Uninstructed Conscience
When educating the conscience, what's gone on in the child's past will
have some influence, just like it does with the will. You can't refine
the conscience by staying ignorant. We can't understand the morals of
savages who don't know God's rules. We don't know how the Sepoys of
India could have let a mixture of pig grease and beef lard in rifles
cause them to massacre so many people in the Indian Rebellion of 1857.
(Read about it
here
or
here.)
Superstition and prejudice results when people let something other than
reason dictate right from wrong for them. We can't accept the actions
of others as right, no matter how convinced they are, unless those
actions are reasonable and right in themselves.
The
Processes Implied in Making a 'Conscientious' Decision
So, before conscience can make a decision in any situation, the
educated reason has to consider the pros and cons. Then the experienced
judgment needs to balance the pros and cons and decide which makes a
stronger case. The person must focus all their attention
pg 335
on the question. Habits of doing the right thing must prevent the
person from acting on their feelings, and will make doing the right
thing seem easier and more comfortable. The person's desire will try to
tempt him, but his conscience will be informed about all the facts
relevant to the case and will decide what's the right thing to do. Then
the will does what the conscience says is right. A conscientious man is
one who takes every decision before his conscience. You can be sure of
the opinions and actions of such a man. These elaborate steps come more
naturally to a person whose conscience has been taught, and is
supplemented with a trained intellect. His mind is always ready to
judge and counsel him.
The
Instructed Conscience Is Nearly Always Right
This is a good reason to give a child some well-rounded training. He
needs the highest culture he can get, and thorough training in good
habits. That way his conscience will always be alert and supported by
all of the mind's powers. Such a conscience is the most important
element of a noble life. An instructed conscience almost always makes
the correct decisions. But it isn't usually mature until the person is
mature. No matter how right-minded and sincere a child may be, he will
tend to make mistakes because youths tend to get fixated and obsessed
on one
particular duty, or one obligation, and neglect the others.
The
Good Conscience of a Child
But even a child with an immature conscience and developing mind is
capable of saying, 'I can't, it wouldn't be right,' or, 'I will do that
because it's the right thing to do.' And once a child is able to
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decide to do the right thing when confronted with temptations, he is
able to really live. His conscience will continue to mature and develop
at the same rate as his intellect. Many facets of learning in different
areas are necessary for the conscience to be the best it can be. But is
there any way to train the conscience directly, any way to refine a
child's spiritual discernment so that he is repulsed and rejects even
the mere hint of evil?
Children
Play with Moral Questions
This is the most delicate part of education, and the one adults are
most prone to bungle. Everyone knows how frustrating it is to discuss
any nice, moral problem with children. They quibble over insignificant
details, come up with all kinds of bewildering side issues to evade the
question, fail to be shocked by or to admire the things we expect. They
play around with the question and refuse to take it seriously. Or, even
more frustrating, they are too harsh and rigidly righteous. They
casually and cheerfully dictate damnation. Parents are discouraged
when they see this lack of conscience in their children, but it's not
really their fault. Their conscience will mature as their mind does.
But at a young age, both aren't fully developed yet. These kinds of
discussions have no place with children, they shouldn't be encouraged
to give opinions about questions of right and wrong. And they shouldn't
be given little books that authoritatively declare that specific
behaviors are always wrong.
The
Bible is the Main Source of Moral Ideas
It would be good if story books and history texts were as reluctant to
offer commentary as the Bible. The child might hear an edited reading
about Joseph from
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the Bible, which rarely adds commentaries or explanations. Nobody has
to tell him what was done wrong and what was good. He doesn't need
anyone to draw out the moral lesson in the story. If that was
necessary, then the Bible would have been written in vain. Good and
bad actions would have no witness on their own. A child should hear the
whole Bible read consecutively, from Genesis chapter 1 to the end, but
with appropriate omissions. Every time the Bible is read to a child, it
should be a pleasant experience. Maybe he could be in his mother's
room, or even on her lap. That fifteen minutes should be a peaceful
time of calm and contentment. The child's whole attention should be
free to take in the story without the distraction of moral teaching.
The less talk, the better. The story will sink in and bring its own
lesson, some now, and more little by little as he matures year by year
and can handle it. Just one of these stories will plant a moral idea
inside him that will continue to grow and bear fruit.
Tales
Draw a Child's Attention To Conduct
Appropriate parts of the Bible are the most important elements of
teaching morality, but any true depiction of life helps a growing
conscience, whether it's a tale of noble deeds, or the story of a
flawed, struggling
life. The child will get into the habit of thinking about conduct in
these stories. He'll start off weighing actions by their consequences.
But little by little, his conscience becomes more discriminating and
he'll begin judging behavior on its own merit, regardless of the
consequences. This silent, subtle growth happens best if there's no
chatter about the subject to distract him, because, during this chat,
your mannerisms and
his curiosity and his simple joy in the discussion, can draw attention
away
from the moral idea that the story should convey to the
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conscience. It is very important that the child not be allowed to label
people around him as 'bad' because of what they do. It isn't so much an
issue of whether he's right or wrong, but the habit of criticizing and
blaming will dull his conscience. It will deaden his sensibility to the
command, 'Judge not, that ye be not judged.'
Ignorance
of a Child's Conscience
What about the child's own behavior? Should he be allowed to analyze
that? Yes, he should consider his actions and even his words. But he
should never be encouraged to judge his motives. That can cause him to
get into the bad habit of introspection. Also, as far as children
considering their ways, we need to remember that a child's conscience
is still immature. Adults are often baffled when they get a glimpse
into the ignorance of a child's conscience, although that rarely
happens because children, in spite of their constant chatter and open
friendliness, keep their deepest thoughts to themselves. They'll often
commit
grievous offenses against truth, modesty, and love without even
realizing how mistaken they are. Yet some trivial, insignificant matter
will bother them deeply. Children will bite and hurt each other
viciously, steal little things, and do other shocking things that
convince their parents that they must have very bad natures. But that's
not necessarily the case. It's just that their conscience still hasn't
learned and doesn't see a clear line between right and wrong. So they
make mistakes on both sides of the line. I once saw a twelve year old
who was dying and was wearing herself out with distress because she
thought she had committed the unpardonable sin. Nobody even knew where
she learned that term. The sin that grieved her so much was that she
had neglected to get up in bed to kneel while praying! Children's
ignorance
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about the most common matters of right and wrong is really pathetic.
Yet too often children are treated as if they knew all about right and
wrong because of the fact that they possess a conscience. But a
conscience is merely a spiritual part of the body that needs direction.
Instructing
the Conscience––Kindness
It's another matter when children do wrong intentionally, and I don't
need to convince anyone that children sometimes do misbehave even when
they
know better. But that fact doesn't negate the need to teach them the
right thing to do. This teaching can't be hit or miss. It needs to be
regular and sequential. Kindness, for example, might be the topic for
the week. There can be a talk about kindness with their mother, the
kind of informal talk that they enjoy. It should be kept short. She
might explain that kindness is love in action and word, or in a look. A
pool of love in a little boy's heart does nobody any good if it's
closed off and hidden. It's only when that love is allowed to bubble up
like a spring and flow out that it becomes kindness. Then there might
be daily short talks about specific ways the child might show kindness
to his siblings, friends, parents, people in pain or trouble, animals,
and strangers we can't even see who are in real trouble because they
don't know Jesus. The child should be given one thing to think about
every day and one nice example of kindness that will inspire him and
make him want to do the same.
Jesus' parable of the 'Good Samaritan' is a good model to teach about
morals. The story and little talks should make children want to be just
as good. Then tell them the command to 'go and do likewise.' After
presenting them with the concept of kindness and specific examples, end
by giving them the command to 'be kind.' Let them know that
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this law of God's is for children as well as grown ups. Once their
conscience has been taught, their emotions are recruited to want to
carry out their duty. Then if the child has to be reprimanded, he will
have no doubt what he did wrong: he broke God's law of kindness. Even
his conscience will confirm that he is guilty. Don't give children bad
examples of what
not to do,
because human nature might make them want
to copy them. Instead, tell them stories of noble actions, great and
small, such as those in Yonge's book
Golden
Deeds. Such examples will stir them to the battle of life like a
trumpet call.
The
Conscience is Made Effective by Discipline
Be courteous, be sincere, be grateful, be considerate, be honest. There
are enough specific attributes to provide weekly topics all the child's
life. And during all of this time, the child is developing the concept
of duty, and his conscience is learning and maturing. The mother is
acting as a friendly, alert guardian angel, always watching. She isn't
trying to catch the child in a mistake, she's trying to guide him into
doing the right thing that she has already made attractive to him. We
only learn to do something by doing it, and we get better at doing it
over time. As the mother teaches and guides, she teaches the child to
listen to his conscience as if it were the voice of God, and to obey it
when it says to 'do this,' or, 'don't do that.' One might protest that
we are placing higher value on a conscience trained by man than a
conscience divinely implanted by God and untainted by flawed man. And
that's true. In every aspect of life, both physical and spiritual, we
are expected to put forth some human effort before God gives us power.
Even a withered arm must be stretched forth before it can be divinely
healed. We have every reason to believe that when
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a conscience is taught well and obeyed faithfully, God will help by
giving divine illumination and understanding.
III. The Divine Life In The Child
'The
Very Pulse of the Machine'
We have not yet touched on the heart of things, or, as Wordsworth
wrote, 'the very pulse of the machine.'
We have gone into the inner depths of the life of a child and
investigated habit, feeling, reason and conscience. These all act on
each other--but what acts on all of them? Maurice (John Frederick
Denison Maurice?), who has searched into the deep things of God, wrote,
'Our spirits cry out for a King to guide them, discipline them, unite
them together, and give them victory over themselves and the world. Our
spirits cry out for a Priest to lift them above themselves to God the
Father to make them partakers of his nature, co-laborers and true
witnesses that He is both Priest and King of Men.'
Parents
Have Some Power to Enthrone the King
We have seen that conscience is only effective when it is stirred from
within the deepest part of the inner man, the holy of holies whose
secrets are known only by God, the high Priest. He 'needed not that any
man should tell Him, for He knew what was in man.' But we need to think
about the bits we do know about this innermost chamber. We need to
collect the information we can find and lay out what we know is true
because even this, the heart of
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the child, is within the parents' power. They have the capability to
enthrone the King and induct the Priest in their child's heart. Every
human heart yearns for this.
The
Functions and Life of the Soul
We toss around the term 'living soul,' as if we take it for granted
that every soul is living and fully developed. But our experience and
scripture say otherwise. It was said about a poet (we don't know how
true it was) that if ever a human being had no soul, it was him. He had
reason, imagination, passions, the kinds of desires that intelligent
people have. Yet he didn't seem to do any of the things one would do
from their soul. What are the things that are done from the soul? St.
Augustine said, 'The soul of man is for God in the same way that God is
for the soul.' The soul hungers for one thing: the things of God. It
wants one thing: to know God. It has one joy: being in God's presence.
The soul repeats the words from
Christmas
Day and Other Sermons. It
says, 'I want to live in the glow of God's face, which is always
smiling on
me.' The soul directs itself upward, but acts [
in love] towards mankind. The
language of the soul is prayer and praise. Its right hand is faith, its
light is God's love. These are what the soul does. This is the only
life it can know. If it doesn't find itself in God, it can't find life
somewhere else. The conscience, the will and reason
pg 343
are useless until they are nourished with the kind of sustenance they
need. It's the same with the soul. Its room is unkempt with cobwebbed
doors and dirty windows until it is awakened to its purpose. It isn't
totally empty, though. The germinating soul with all its potential is
there, lying dormant. Its awakening might be the sudden miracle of
conversion, or, if the parents are conscientious and knowing, it can be
gentle and sweet, like the gradual unfolding of a flower. Some souls
are idle and sleeping, but they're still living. Some souls are weak
and sick, but they're still alive. And some souls are so hardened that
no spark can ever awaken them.
What
is the Life of the Soul?
So, what is the life of the soul? Is it something that's transmitted,
like a flame that passes from a fire to torch? Maybe. But it's more
than that. It's more intimate, more mysterious. 'I am the life.' 'In
Him was life, and the life was the light of men.' 'Abide in Me, and I
in you.' It's too holy and unspeakable to explain, except in the terms
given in scripture. But, at the very least, it means that a living soul
doesn't live a solitary existence in its room inside the inner man. Its
room
becomes the temple of the Living God. 'Surely the Lord is in this
place, and I knew it not. How dreadful is this place!'
The
Parent Needs to Introduce the Concept of God to the Child
But, seeing how holy and mysterious the union between the soul and its
God is, parents may feel unqualified to meddle. What can they do? How
can they help? What if they meddle--and muddle? Parents should take
confidence in knowing that nourishing and encouraging the spiritual
life of their child
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isn't a choice they have to make. It is a duty and obligation from God.
It doesn't really matter how well the parent meets his child's physical
needs, moral sensitivity and mental culture if he neglects or fails in
his duty to develop his child's spiritual life. What can a parent do?
Only this and no more: he can present the idea of God to the soul of
the child. Just like in the rest of the universe, God carries out His
will through imperfect, inadequate means. Who would ever think that a
bee could produce apple trees? Yet a bee flies from an apple tree laden
with pollen from apple blossoms, and then unwittingly deposits it on
the stigmas of flowers on the next tree it comes to. The bee flies on,
but the pollen stays behind. It's nowhere near the immature ovule, but
that doesn't matter. The ovule can't reach up and take it, but the
pollen sends out a tiny tube within the length of the style to reach
the ovule. The seeds are pollinated and the tree bears apples with
seeds that may become new apple trees. Understand that the parent is
not much better than the witless bee. His role is to deposit some
fruitful concept of God within reach of the child's soul. The child's
immature soul isn't able to reach out to the idea, but God's living
Word reaches down and touches the child's soul. Then, there is life.
There is growth, beauty, flower and fruit.
Don't
Make Blundering Efforts
I'd like you to try looking at these divine mysteries in the same way,
philosophically, that we've looked at all the other capabilities and
functions of the child. It might be enlightening to look at life's
religious
pg 345
mysteries from a different perspective, from outside of a religious
context.
Also, I want to have a smooth, unbroken path of logic to convince
parents of their highest obligation in regards to their children's
education. Here, the apple tree/bee analogy breaks down. The parents
must not go blundering randomly as a bee flitting from flower to
flower. This is the most important duty he has. It's also the most
delicate. If he wants to introduce his child to God, and expose the
concept of God to his child's soul, the parent will need faith, prayer,
tact, discretion, humility, gentleness, love, and good judgment.
God
is Often Presented to Children as Demanding and Punitive
It has been accurately said, 'If we think of God as stingy, harsh and
demanding instead of generous and giving, then we shall become stingy,
harsh and demanding instead of generous and giving.' Yet that's just
how
God is presented most of the time--as a strict Pharaoh demanding his
quota of bricks in the form of good behavior and good deeds. Parents
deliberately present God that way to pressure their children when their
own authority is weak. They speak for God, threatening punishments that
they wouldn't utter on their own behalf. Children may hear a caregiver
yell passionately, 'God can't love you, you rotten kid! I hope he sends
you to that bad place!' And those two images of God--as demanding and
punishing--are often the only images a child receives of God. What
fruit can possibly come of this? Most likely, the child will be
repulsed by the idea of God and turn his face away from God the Father.
But, what if he were taught instead of the 'all-forgiving gentleness of
God'?
pg 346
Parents
Must Select Inspiring Ideas
These are only two ways that tender children are often put off about
God. The mother who realizes that her child's heart may be permanently
turned against God if he gets the wrong ideas when he's young, will
understand the need for giving this matter serious, careful thought and
resolve. What teaching should her child receive about this
all-important subject? She might forbid anyone from even mentioning
God's name to her children, except for his parents. She will have to
explain that it's only because she's so concerned that her children
only receive the correct impressions regarding this great matter. It's
better that her children have only a few vital concepts that will
encourage their souls to grow, than that they have a lot of vague,
incorrect teaching.
We
Must Teach Only What We Know
How do we decide which few vital thoughts to teach about the Infinite
God? It's not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. To begin
with, we must teach only what we know in our hearts to be true, not
just what we
know with our intellect. Of all the doctrines, teachings and traditions
out there, we'll find that there are only a few that we have accepted
so deeply that we can live by them. It's individual for each person,
some accept more, some can accept only one. Whether it's one or a few
for us, those are the ones we should teach our children because those
are the only ones that can sincerely come from our hearts with the kind
of enthusiasm that conviction brings, the kind of enthusiasm that is so
compelling that it's hard for others not to catch, too. The best way
to make children take their faith lightly is to use phony, dead words
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about the best things. Our artificial seriousness in tone and manner
substitute for the living meaning that real conviction would bring. If
a parent only truly believes one thing with all his heart, then let him
teach his child just that one thing. By the time his child needs more,
the parent may know more with certainty.
Appropriate
and Vital Ideas
Some concepts about spirituality are more suitable for children and
more relevant to their lives. The joy Jesus gives means more to a child
than the God of All Comfort.
And there are other concepts that are the daily bread of the soul.
Without them, life and growth aren't possible. A lot of teaching can
wait until the child has a need for it, but some ideas are vitally
necessary for spiritual life. A child who isn't taught those things
will go
out into the world with an undeveloped soul in spite of any theological
knowledge he may have.
Knowledge
of God is Not to be Confused with Morality
Knowledge of God is not the same thing as morality, although being good
will result from knowing God. But don't put the cart before the horse.
Don't nag and preach at a child about being good as if he owes it to
God, without first giving him the information that will change his
heart so he
can be good.
That doesn't leave us with a lot left to teach. Working within these
limitations eliminates a lot of the kinds of things that children are
commonly taught in their religious lessons. The question is no longer
how to decide between all the things we could cover, but, what is so
vital that we don't dare leave it out?
When
and the How to Teach About God
The next thing the mother needs to consider is when and how
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to teach her children about God. It's better for her instruction to be
rare and therefore more esteemed, than to be so frequent that children
tune it out. It would be better for a child to get no religious
teaching at all than to hear it so often that he gets tired of it and
the mere mention of anything religious turns him off. Yet he does need
to be built up in his faith. He should be getting training regularly
and progressively. Finding the right balance depends on the mother.
Like the beautiful scent of flowers carried on the breeze, spiritual
teaching should depend on which way the wind blows. Every now and then
a teachable moment will arise. The mother and child will be together
and they will both feel that it's a holy moment. That's the perfect
time to make a deeply felt, softly spoken comment about God. It
shouldn't be too wordy, and there should be no pressure or urging to
act on anything. There should just be a flash of conviction from the
mother's soul to her child. Is the concept of God as a loving,
protective Father the concept to offer the child? After just a few
words, it will only take a look from the mother to relate that concept
to lots of manifestations of God's Fatherhood. That concept will grow
and become part of the child's spiritual life. That's all it takes.
There doesn't need to be any weekly lesson plans. The child doesn't
have to dread a lecture, which smothers the fire of his sacred life. To
keep from over-doing it, the mother will have to exercise great
restraint. Many opportunities will seem to appear, but she'll have to
let them pass, even while keeping in mind the earnest purpose and plan
in her heart of building her child's faith. And it goes without saying
that she should pray. She will need wisdom from above to enable her to
do this task.
The
Reading of the Bible
A word about
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reading the Bible. We often make so many comments and practical
applications about scripture, that the scripture itself is buried. And
I don't think it's a good idea to pick out specific verses and hammer
them into a child. That only make those verses lose their meaning for
him, which doesn't help his spiritual life. God's Word is full of
living power and it can take care of practical application on its own.
A spiritual seed as light as thistledown will waft into the child's
soul. Its roots will reach down into the child's soul, but its fruit
will reach outwards. Our duty as parents is to instill in our children
a love for God's Word. The most delightful part of a child's day should
be when his mother reads him scripture. She should read the wonderful
Bible stories with tender understanding, and with reverence and joy in
her voice. From time to time, one of those holy moments mentioned
earlier will occur. The mother will pass her own conviction about
something to her child, and it will go into his soul, where the life of
the Spirit is. The child should grow so that,
'New thoughts of God, new hopes of
heaven,'
are something to look forward to. When he names the day's blessings,
this should be among them. Most importantly, don't read the Bible as a
way to make him feel ashamed of his faults. It's the Holy Sprit's job
to convict of sin, not ours. He is able to use His Word to do this,
without risking offense or hardening of the heart like we might with
our clumsy handling.
The way to work out this divine teaching will come from each mother's
own personal conviction. I'll only try to mention one or two of the
vital truths that sustain spiritual life.
Father
and Giver
'Our Father, who art in
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heaven,' might be the first concept of God that a mother will present
to her child. God is our Father and He makes us glad with the blessings
He gives us every day. 'What a happy birthday our Father has given to
my little boy!' 'The flowers are coming again; our Father has taken
care of the plants all through the cold winter!' 'Listen
to the skylark! It's amazing how our Father can put so much joy into
the heart of one little bird.' 'Thank God for making my little girl so
happy and joyful!' From this concept comes spontaneous, free prayer
from the child. The child's heart will well up in thanks for all the
little blessings of his day rather than petitioning God just yet. It
doesn't matter what words are used, they just need to be words he can
understand. To God, any time the heart of one of His children rises to
Him, it's prayer. From this concept also comes obligation and duty.
We're glad to acknowledge our debt to such a gracious and kind Father.
He isn't a Parent who threatens us into obedience at a sword's point.
His children are glad to obey.
The
Essence of Christianity is Loyalty to a Person
The second concept that children need to know is that Jesus is our
King. This concept will let loose the treasures of loyalty, love, faith
and imagination that are locked inside a child's heart. The very
essence of Christianity is personal loyalty. We are passionately loyal
to our wonderful Master. Some people have tried to lay foundations of
regeneration, sacraments, justification, works, faith, or the Bible.
These may be necessary to salvation, but if they're over-emphasized,
they can become a religion
about
Christ, but
without Christ. A
time of sifting has come in our day. Many thinkers claim to know
nothing about our religious systems. They declare
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that all of our orthodox beliefs aren't knowable. Maybe this happens
because they think so much about salvation that they've forgotten Who
saved them. But no one who has ever truly known Him can forget Him. If
the very concept of Jesus is
life,
then the mere thought of Jesus, once it touches the soul, will rise up
as a living power, independent of all the mind's mere formulas. Let us
pass the torch of Christianity to the next generation by bringing them
into allegiance to Christ the King. But how? Well, during the
English Civil War,
how did the old Cavaliers bring up their children to be passionately
loyal and reverent to earthly princes who weren't very honorable? They
did it by example. Their own hearts were filled with loyalty, their
lips spoke reverence, their actions declared their service. The style
of clothes they wore, the ring of their voices, even the pride with
which they held their head proclaimed unlimited devotion to their king
and to his cause. That war, whatever else it did or failed to do, left
a lesson for Christians. If a Stuart prince could command that much
loyalty, shouldn't Jesus be worthy of
our
loyalty? After all, he's 'the Chief amongst ten thousand, the
altogether lovely One.'
Jesus is our Savior. This concept should be presented tenderly to the
child while he's sorrowing over a misbehavior. 'My poor little boy,
you've been so naughty today. Couldn't you help it?' 'No, Mommy,' he
sobs. 'No, I guess you couldn't. But there's a way of help.' And that's
when the mother tells her child how Jesus is our Savior because He
saves us from our sins. It's debatable whether a child should learn
about Jesus' death on the cross too early. It might be fun to start
with Moses and the prophets. Then, throughout the Old Testament, the
child could see the gradual unfolding of the Messiah's work and
pg 352
character. Then, when his mind is thinking about the Hope of Israel,
they could see the mystery of the birth in Bethlehem, and the
humiliation of the cross. Yet, maybe what they might gain from the
freshness of this novel presentation wouldn't make it worth missing the
opportunity to grow up with the knowledge of Calvary and Bethlehem
always in their minds. One more thing--it's not good to let children be
careless and casual with the name of Jesus. They shouldn't sing hymns
that don't use a reverent tone. 'Ye call Me Master and Lord; and ye say
well, for so I am.'
Jesus living in us is a concept very well suited for children. Their
simple faith doesn't stumble at the mystery. Their imagination is ready
to accept the wonder that the King Himself should live in their hearts.
'How will I know He's there, Mommy?' 'When you're peaceful, kind and
happy, it's because Jesus is in you.
'And when He comes, such joy you'll
wear
Your friends will know the King is
there.' '
I won't even try to list any more of the vital truths that a Christian
mother might present to her child. Have patience until those truths
bear fruit in his soul and his heart is like a beautiful garden blessed
by God. But don't forget that this requires prayer.
The
End