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Charlotte Mason in Modern English
Charlotte Mason's ideas are too important not to be understood and implemented in the 21st century, but her Victorian style of writing sometimes prevents parents from attempting to read her books. This is an imperfect attempt to make Charlotte's words accessible to modern parents. You may read these, print them out, share them freely--but they are copyrighted to me, so please don't post or publish them without asking.
~L. N. Laurio
pg 191
Chapter 18 - Sensations And Feelings: Parents Can Educate Their Children's
Feelings
'These beautiful forms
Have been away from me for a long time, but that doesn't mean
I'm as oblivious to them as a blind man is to a landscape.
Often, when I'm in lonely rooms, or amid the noise
Of towns and cities, in my hours of weariness,
They have been sweet sensations to me
That I felt in my blood and in my heart.
They even passed into my purer mind
And brought peaceful restoration, as well as feelings
Of pleasures I'd forgotten--the kind that
Have had a significant influence
On the best part of a good man's life
And inspired his small, unremembered deeds
Of kindness and love.'
adapted from Wordsworth's Tintern
Abbey
Reflected
Sensations
Insight, which gives Wordsworth a scientific basis so that his work is
more than sentiment, is
one of those beautiful things that transcends our philosophy.
Wordsworth writes that, even after all those years, the
beautiful forms of Tintern Abbey [the
ruins of an
exquisite church
along the Wye River in Wales] gave him sweet sensations. We tend
to
think that sensations can only be immediate and have to be felt at the
same instant that the event is being experienced by the senses. But
Wordsworth, as usual, is absolutely
pg 192
correct. It's possible to have reflected sensations, too, because a
conscious sensation depends on us recognizing an impression with our
senses. This recognition doesn't have to be brought on by a sensation
happening here and now. It can be by an association that brings back a
memory that the original experience permanently etched into our mind.
Wordsworth is completely accurate when he writes about the pleasure of
the
sensation being repeated. 'In lonely rooms and amid the noise of towns
and cities,' the sudden spark of association brings a soothing joy of
an image he remembers--'beautiful forms' that have every grace of
symmetry, harmony, reverent antiquity seen in the always fresh,
gracious setting of a beautiful landscape. The image brightens his
mind's eye so that he no longer notices the noise of the cities, and
instead his mind hears the sound of the Wye river flowing and the songs
of birds, lowing of cattle and hum of insects. He remembers the sweet
scent of the meadow flowers and can actually feel the coolness of the
grass. All of these are experienced as sensations that are as real to
his senses as they were when he first experienced them.
Outdoor
Memories Should Be Stored
These few lines of Wordsworth's give many, many reasons why children's
memories should be stored with lots of images of the outdoors that can
provide them with reflected sensations that will bring them pleasure.
We should be constantly diligent to help them look, listen, touch and
smell. This is done by role modeling. If we look at something, they
will, too. If we notice smells, they will
pg 193
smell them, too. The other day I heard about a little girl who traveled
in Italy with her parents back in the days when people still used the
dignified mode of family carriages for traveling. Her parents were
conscientious and didn't want to waste a moment of time, so they didn't
allow the travel time to be idle. The little girl and her governess had
the interior of the coach to themselves and they packed all her
schoolbooks. During the travel time, the little girl did her math,
geography, probably learned the counties of England and everything
else. No time was wasted on idle curiosity about trivial matters like
what 'fair lands' they might be passing through. This anecdote shows
that we're making progress, but we still don't fully recognize that our
role in education should be subordinated with careful thought to Nature
herself.
Delightful
Memories Are a Source of Physical Well-Being and Mental Refreshment
Let's continue our study of Wordsworth's accurate and exquisitely
beautiful psychological record. He goes on to write that the sweet
sensations are 'felt in my blood and in my heart.' That statement is
actually true to fact. An enjoyable sensation makes the tiny nerve
fibers around the capillaries relax. The blood flows more freely, the
heart beats quicker, there's a sense of well-being, joy and gladness
take over, the gloom of a mundane day or the stress of the busy city
melts away--delightful memories are like a healing potion of life. When
they present themselves to us, they can instantly restore us to a
condition of well-being.
But there's more. Wordsworth
pg 194
says that these memories 'passed into my purer mind and brought
peaceful restoration.' His mind is purer in the sense that it's less
physical than his body and less affected by physical conditions, yet
still so closely related to the physical brain tissue that the
condition of one will necessarily affect the other. Perhaps the mental
mind and physical brain have both been exhausted by the unrelenting
persistence of a particular line of thought. Then, suddenly, into the
'purer mind' flashes the awareness of a delightful image because of
some reference of association to a distant memory. The current weary
thought is diverted into delightful new channels, and weariness and
brain fatigue are replaced with 'peaceful restoration.'
If mere sensations can do so much for our happiness, our mental
refreshment, and our physical well-being, not just at the time we first
experience them, but any number of times we relive the memory later,
then it seems logical that an important part of our work as educators
is to preserve the acuteness of children's perceptions, and to store
their memories with delightful images.
The
Difference Between Sensations and Feelings
Wordsworth continues his study and makes a distinction, commenting not
only on 'sweet sensations,' but also 'feelings from pleasures I'd
forgotten.' Not many people are able to distinguish between the
sensations and the feelings that are felt when a memory comes to mind
from some spark of association. Wordsworth's psychology is delicately
nice and very accurate. The distinction he defines is important to the
educator. Actually, feelings are a bit out of vogue now. Henry
Mackenzie's Man of Feeling
is a person who just doesn't matter much. If he still exists at all, he
stays hidden in the shade, while being aware, because of a certain
quick
pg 195
perception that he has, that any sign of blossoming in his character
would be immediately smashed by someone wielding a sledge hammer. The Man of Feeling has only himself
to thank for this. He's the one who allowed his feelings to go
overboard. His sweet sensitivities ran away with him. He meant pathos
and said bathos. He became a cliché, an exaggerated type, and
Society, to preserve itself, responds by removing the offending bough.
Thus, The Man of Feeling is
no more.
Feelings
Should Be Objective, Not Subjective
This isn't the only accusation that 'feelings' are up against. As long
as feelings remain objective, they're like a final perfection to a
beautiful character, like the blush of a peach. But as soon as they
become subjective, and every feeling concerns itself with the ego, then
morbid conditions are set up in the same way as it is with sensations.
First, the person becomes overly sensitive. Then unreasonableness takes
over,
and perhaps depression. The life is totally ruined. George Eliot writes
about a perfect illustration of these subjective kinds of feelings. She
says that a philosophical friend commented that the surface of a mirror
might be covered with tiny scratches going in all directions. If you
hold a lighted candle up to the surface of the mirror, these random
scratches seem to be arranged and radiated around the flame. It's the
same with a person who has allowed his feelings to affect his conscious
ego. Everything in heaven and earth is 'felt' through the way they
affect his own personality.
What
Feelings Are, and What They Aren't
What are feelings? Perhaps they can best be expressed in
pg 196
Coleridge's phrase when he writes about 'a vague craving of the mind.'
We can clarify what feelings are by examining what they aren't. Feelings aren't really
sensations because they aren't experienced via the five senses. They're
separate from the two great affections (love and justice) because
they're not actively bestowed on any specific object. They're different
from desires because they don't demand to be gratified. They're not the
same as the intellectual activity that we call thinking because thought
proceeds from ideas, is active and arrives at a conclusion, but
feelings come from perceptions. They're passive and don't progress
towards any conclusion or result.
Every
Feeling has its Positive and its Negative
Every feeling has its positive and its negative, and these are in any
variety of degrees: pleasure or annoyance, appreciation or disregard,
anticipation or foreboding, admiration or contempt, assurance or
hesitation, doubt or confidence, etc., and many other subtle nuances of
feelings that we could name--and even more that are too illusive to be
pinned down with words.
Feelings
Are Neither Moral Nor Immoral
All of these feelings have certain conditions in common. None are
distinctly moral or immoral. They are developed to the stage of
definite thought. They exist vaguely in what seems to be a
semi-conscious intellectual region. Why, then, do we need to concern
ourselves with this mysterious unknown aspect of human nature? This is
the question that prose philosophers ask. But Wordsworth sees deeper.
In one of the most beautifully discriminating passages
pg 197
in all of poetry, he writes about feelings of unremembered pleasures
having a significant influence in a good man's life. They're the
sources of 'small, unremembered deeds of kindness and love.'
The
Connection Between Unremembered Feelings and Actions
It's possible for the spark of association to be touched so lightly
that a person relives a vague feeling of the former pleasure without
reliving the actual physical sensation, or sees the image that produced
the sensation, and experiences just a vague hint of the pleasure. For
example, when a person hears the word 'Lohengrin,' he doesn't wait to
regain the sensation of musical delight. He just catches a waft of the
pleasure that the original experience brought--the feeling of
unremembered pleasure. It's intangible and indefinite, but it creates a
glow in the heart that warms a person and inspires him to do 'deeds of
kindness and love' that are as small and nameless as the feelings that
inspired them.
These
Little Deeds Are the Best Part of a Good Man's Life
Even though these deeds are small and nameless, Wordsworth ranks them
as the 'best part of a good man's life.' But these kind deeds can only
come out of a good man's heart because the feelings themselves aren't
moral. They merely influence what's already inside the person. The
point is, the influence that these feelings have is indirect yet
powerful. Why should the memory of Tintern Abbey cause a man to do some
small, kind deed? The only answer we can offer is the ultimate one:
'God made us in such a way' that even a feeling of
pg 198
unremembered pleasure can
prompt a good person to give of the good treasure that's in his heart
in kindness and love. We only have to consider the result of feelings
on the negative side to prove how accurate Wordsworth's psychology is.
Imagine that we're unpleased--not displeased,
but indifferent and unmoved by any feeling of pleasure. With our
feelings in this condition, would we be prompted to any outpouring of
love and kindness towards our fellow man?
The
Perception of Character Is One of Our Finest Feelings
This is another aspect of feelings, and it's very important to those of
us who educate children.
'I do not like you, Doctor Fell,
The reason why I cannot tell.'
That's a feeling we all recognize. In fact, it's that intuitive part of
our character--one of our best feelings and best guides in life--that
tends to get hammered out of us by the constant attempt to beat our
sensitivities down to what's obvious and definite. Why do people
complain about disloyal friends, dishonest servants and disappointed
affections? If we could keep our feelings in truth and simplicity, they
would undoubtedly afford us a reliable standard of character in those
we come into contact with, and we'd be spared from having to make
unreasonable demands of people on the one hand, and suffering
disappointment on the other.
Orators
Play Upon Our Feelings
Orators love to play upon the range of our feelings. They throw in
arguments, and brighten their talk with vivid word pictures, metaphors
and similes.
pg 199
For their final effect, they rely on the impression they've been able
to make on the audience's feelings, and they're usually successful.
Enthusiasm
It isn't only our little nameless deeds, but also the great purpose of
our lives that arise from our feelings. Enthusiasm itself isn't
thought, but it arises when we're
'sparked with the rapture of a sudden thought.'
Enthusiasm is a glowing, adaptable condition of the forces of our
nature.
When enthusiasm strikes us, all things seem possible. All we need is
some leading. In its earliest stages, enthusiasm is insignificant,
incoherent and lacking in purpose. Yet it's the great state that all of
life's great purposes shape themselves from. We feel something, which
leads to a thought, which prompts us to say something, which results in
us taking action. That's how most of our activities originate.
When
We Educate the Feelings, We Modify the Character
But our feelings depend on what we are, just like our thoughts. We tend
to have the kinds of feelings about things that we've become used to
feeling. But the point I want to make is that our feelings can be
trained, and by educating the feelings, we can modify the character. A
serious risk in this day and age is that we might exchange the delicate
task of
educating the feelings for the simpler task of blunting them. This is
almost inevitable in a system where training is given to students as a
group. But it doesn't necessarily have to happen, because the attitude
of the head teacher is almost always spread to the whole school. Still,
the perfect blossoming of feelings can only be preserved under
individual care and instruction--in other words, it can only be done by
parents!
pg 200
Tact:
The Sixth Sense
The tool to use in this task is always the same--the blessed sixth
sense of Tact. The desired feeling can be summoned with merely a look
or a gesture; it can also be driven away with a careless rude comment.
Our silence, our sympathy, our perception can validate and encourage
the feelings we desire in our children. The same methods are equally
effective at discouraging the feelings that shouldn't be there and
making them slink away in shame.
Beware
of Words
Be careful of words. It's better to use our eyes and imaginations when
dealing with very young children. We need to try to see what they're
feeling and help them by responding with our own feelings. But words,
even when they're encouraging and kind, can blast this delicate bloom
of nature like a hot gust of wind, and make it vanish. Let's carefully
consider which feelings we want to stimulate and which ones we want to
repress in our children. Once we've made up our minds, let's not say
anything about it. We all know how children shrink, as if they've been
touched in a sore place, when they receive a well-intentioned comment
from a tactless friend.
A
Feeling is Communicated by Sympathy
A sense of the Spirit's touch is the only guide we have in the area of
feelings, but that's enough to attune our children's spirits to great
issues, as long as we believe that they're capable of all kinds of
great things. We want them to be reverent. Before it becomes a thought
or action, reverence is a feeling, and it can be communicated from one
person to another in the same way as the light from a torch--but only
by contact. A feeling of reverence fills our own souls when we see a
bird on its nest, or an old man sitting on his front porch, or a church
that's been the center of a community's hopes for generations. When we
feel this reverence, our children feel our
pg 201
feeling, and they feel it, too. A feeling is communicated by this kind
of sympathy, and might not be communicated any other way. Likewise, the
unworthy
habit of depreciation is, first of all, a feeling. It's not difficult
to pass on to children the attitude of feeling reverent and
appreciative by how appropriate and good something is. We all know how
easy it is to appreciate or depreciate the very same thing. The fact
that one thing can cause two such opposite reactions shows how
important it is to instill the right attitude, because among the minor
aspects of character, nothing differentiates people more than whether
someone or something evokes satisfaction or dissatisfaction in their
eyes.
People
are Differentiated by their Ability to Appreciate or Depreciate
The habit of feeling appreciative is a source of peaceful joy to the
person who possesses this attitude, and it makes the people in contact
with him relaxed and contented. The habit of criticizing everything,
on the other hand, might stimulate a bit of excitement because it
appeals to the ego--it says, 'I dislike this person or thing, which
proves that I know more and am superior to other people.' That kind of
attitude disturbs tranquility. It puts a person out of harmony with
himself and his surroundings. No stable contentment comes of
depreciation. Yet, even when dealing with our children's feelings in
this area, we have to remember that the only tools at our disposal are
tact, sympathy, and communicated feelings. Feelings aren't like
thoughts that can be reasoned with. They aren't moral or immoral by
themselves, so we can't praise them or chastise them. We have to be
unassertive when we deal with these feelings in our children, and
diligently watchful so that a careless slip doesn't bruise a tender
blossom of feeling.
pg 202
There's
Danger in Teasing
Here's the problem with the habit of joking banter in family
conversation: a little bit is fine and perfectly harmless, but this
kind of fun should be used with a great deal of tact, especially by the
adults. Children understand each other very well, so there's less risk
of hurt feelings from a tormenting peer than there is from a respected
grown-up.
Dealing
With Children's Feelings is a Delicate Task
There's only one case when feelings shouldn't have free play, and
that's when feelings reflect the conscious ego. The feelings
that are usually referred to as sensitive feelings--meaning
susceptibility for oneself and about oneself, and a tendency to be
quick to perceive neglect, insult, condemnation or recognition--are
sometimes considered to be a sign of a fragile, delicate character. But
they're actually feelings of a lower, less worthy class. They should be
carefully directed to prevent unhealthy thought patterns from being set
up. The ability to ignore wisely is an art. A girl who yearns to know
what you thought of her when she said this, or did that, doesn't need
to be told brutally that you didn't think of her at all. It's enough
for her to see that your attention is focused on something that's
impersonal to both her and you. In this way, she gets the hint and
takes her focus off herself without anything being said to hurt her
feelings. It seems to be an unchangeable law that our feelings as well
as our sensations need to be occupied with something outside of
ourselves. As soon as they're turned inward on ourselves, harm is done.
The task of dealing with young people's susceptible tendencies is one
of the
most delicate tasks that we adults have, whether we're parents or
friends. Indiscriminate sympathy is dangerous, and bluntness of
perception is very damaging. We're between a rock and a hard place, and
pg 203
we need to tread humbly and carefully in this delicate task of dealings
with the feelings of children and youth. The only safeguard we have is
to value the 'soft, meek, tender soul' in ourselves that's sensitive to
God's touch, and that's able to deal in soft, meek, tender ways with
children, who are fragile, delicate beings.
Paraphrased by L. N. Laurio
Please direct any comments or questions to me by emailing me at cmseries-owner at yahoogroups dot com.
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