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Charlotte Mason in Modern English
Charlotte Mason's ideas are too important not to be understood and implemented in the 21st century, but her Victorian style of writing sometimes prevents parents from attempting to read her books. This is an imperfect attempt to make Charlotte's words accessible to modern parents. You may read these, print them out, share them freely--but they are copyrighted to me, so please don't post or publish them without asking.
~L. N. Laurio
Parents and Children
Volume 2 of
Charlotte Mason's Original Homeschool Series
Table of Contents
Preface
Chapter 1 The Family . . . pg. 1
Chapter 2 Parents As Rulers . . . pg. 10
Chapter 3 Parents As Inspirers: Children Must be Born Again into a Life
of Intelligence . . . pg. 19
Chapter 4 Parents As Inspirers: The Life Of The Mind Grows Upon Ideas .
. . pg. 29
Chapter 5 Parents As Inspirers: The Things of the Spirit . . . pg. 41
Chapter 6 Parents As Inspirers: Primal Ideas Derived from Parents . . .
pg. 50
Chapter 7 The Parent As Schoolmaster . . . pg. 60
Chapter 8 The Culture Of Character: Parents as Trainers . . . pg. 69
Chapter 9 The Culture Of Character: The Treatment of Defects . . . pg.
83
Chapter 10 Bible Lessons: Parents as Instructors in Religion . . . pg.
92
Chapter 11 Faith And Duty (Book Review): Parents as Teachers of Morals
. . . pg. 101
Chapter 12 Faith And Duty (Book Review): Claims of Philosophy as an
Instrument of Education . . . pg. 117
Chapter 13 Faith And Duty (Book Review): Man Lives by Faith, Godward
and Manward . . . pg. 129
Chapter 14 Parents are Concerned to Give the Heroic Impulse . . . pg.
141
Chapter 15 Is It Possible? (Book Review): Parents' Attitudes Towards
Social Questions . . . pg. 150
Chapter 16 Discipline: A Consideration for Parents . . . pg. 168
Chapter 17 Sensations And Feelings: Sensations Educable by Parents . .
. pg. 178
Chapter 18 Sensations And Feelings: Feelings Educable by Parents . . .
pg. 191
Chapter 19 'What Is Truth?' - Moral Discrimination Required by Parents
. . . pg. 204
Chapter 20 Show Cause Why: Parents Responsible for Competitive
Examinations . . . pg. 214
Chapter 21 A Scheme Of Educational Theory Proposed To Parents . . . pg.
225
Chapter 22 A Catechism Of Educational Theory . . . pg. 233
Chapter 23 Where Have We Come From, and Where Are We Going?: A Question
for Parents - Where Have We Come From? . . . pg. 249
Chapter 24 Where Have We Come From, and Where Are We Going?: Where Are
We Going? . . . pg. 257
Chapter 25 The Great Truth That Parents Need to Recognize . . . pg. 268
Chapter 26 The Eternal Child: The Highest Road to Godly Character . . .
pg. 280
Appendix (study questions) . . pg. 291-308
Preface
to the 'Home Education' Series
The future of education both in England and overseas is vague and
depressing. We hear various urgent pleas -- science should be the focus
of education, we need to reform the way we teach foreign language or
math, we should incorporate more crafts and nature study to train the
eye and hand, students need to learn how to write English and must
therefore be familiar with history and literature. And on the other
hand, we're being pressured to make education more vocational and
utilitarian. But there's no coherent principle, no real aim. There's no
philosophy of education. A stream can't rise any higher than the lake
it flows from. In the same way, no educational work can rise above the
thought and purpose behind it. Maybe this is the reason for all the
failures and disappointments of our educational system.
Those of us who have spent many years researching the gentle, elusive
vision of education have come to understand that various approaches
have a law behind them, but we haven't yet discovered what it is. We
can make out a dim outline of it, but that's it. We know that it's
all-encompassing. There's no part of a child's home life or school work
that isn't affected by that law. It's illuminating. It shows the value
(or worthlessness) of all the thousands of various educational systems
and programs. It isn't just a light, it's also a measure. It sets the
standard by which to measure all educational work, whether small or
great. That law is impartial and gracious. It will embrace
anything that's true, honest, and respected. It sets no limits or
obstacles, except where too much would be harmful. And the educational
path that the law reveals is continuous and always advancing forward.
There is no magical transition stage, progress is steady from birth to
old age, except that, whatever habits are learned in youth will
determine what choices are made even in adulthood. When we finally see
the law for what it is, we'll find that certain German thinkers --
Kant, Herbart, Lotze, Froebel -- were right when they said that it's
necessary to believe in God, so the most important thing to learn is
knowledge of God. That should be the priority of education. There's one
more way that we'll be able to recognize this perfect law that gives
educational freedom when we see it. It's been said that, 'The best
thing about absolute truth is that it works under every condition we
can think of.' And that will be true of this law. No matter what
experimental test or logical investigation we give it, it will pass.
We still haven't seen an outline or summary of this law. So, until we
have something definite, we'll have to fall back on Froebel or Herbart,
or, if we adhere to a different school of thought, Locke or Spencer.
But we aren't content. We feel dissatisfied. Is it a divine discontent?
If we found a workable, effective philosophy of education, we'd welcome
it as deliverance from our perplexity. Before we find this great
deliverance, there will probably be lots of tentative attempts. They'll
all have the characters of a philosophy, more or less. Specifically,
they'll have a central idea, a basic concept with various details
working in harmony with it. This workable, effective theory of
education could be called a system of psychology. It would have to work
well with the accepted ideas of the time. It wouldn't think of
education as an isolated, shut-off compartment, but as a natural part
of life, like birth, growing, marriage, or work. It would create a bond
between the student and the great wide world, connected at many
different points where interest was sparked. I know that some
educational experts want to create that connection in many subjects,
but their attempts are too random. They give a saying here, an idea
there, but there's no common foundation to unify and support education
as a complete unit.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. I don't want to seem
presumptuous. I hope that there will be lots of ideas submitted towards
a working philosophy of education, and that each one will bring us one
step closer to discovering the best possible education. In that spirit,
I offer my idea. The central foundational thought of my idea will sound
rather obvious: the child is a whole, complete person with all the possibilities
and capabilities already included in his personality. Some of the
implications of this idea have been exploited by educational experts,
and fragments of this idea are already pretty commonly accepted by
common sense. For instance, take the aspect that education is the science of making
relationships. That concept seems to solve the curriculum
question. It shows that the main purpose of education is putting the
child in living touch with as much of nature and thoughts as possible.
If you add a couple of skills that help the child self-educate, then
the student will go into the world after graduation with some ability
to manage and control himself, a few hobbies to enrich his leisure
time, and an interest in lots of things. I have two reasons for even
attempting to offer my educational idea, even if my idea is tentative
and will probably be replaced by an even better idea. For the last
30-40 years, I've worked unceasingly to come up with a philosophical
educational theory that works practically. Also, each of the following
educational principles is something that came about by inductive
processes, and has been proved with long and varied experiments. I
hesitate
to share my findings because I know that, in the field of education,
there are many workers more capable and more knowledgeable than I am.
Even they aren't bold enough to offer answers because the footing is so
precarious! They are like the 'angels who fear to tread.'
But, if only to encourage their effort, I offer an amended version of a
synopsis I included in the other volumes of my 'Home Education Series.'
My approach isn't methodic. It's more incidental--here a little, there
a little. That seemed like the best way to make it practical for
parents and teachers. I should add that the various essays in this book
were originally written for the Parents National Educational Union
(PNEU) to provide the society with a unified theory.
'As soon as the soul spots truth, the soul recognizes it as her first
and oldest friend.'
'The repercussions of truth are great. Therefore we must not neglect to
correctly judge what's true, and what's not.'
--Benjamin Whichcote
Whichcote said that the end result of truth is so great that we must be
careful to make sure that what we live by is, indeed, the truth.
1. Children are born persons--they are not blank slates or embryonic
oysters who have the potential of becoming persons. They already are
persons.
2. Although children are born with a sin nature, they are neither all
bad, nor all good. Children from all walks of life and backgrounds may
make choices for good or evil.
3. The concepts of authority and obedience are true for all people
whether they accept it or not. Submission to authority is necessary for
any society or group or family to run smoothly.
4. Authority is not a license to abuse children, or to play upon their
emotions or other desires, and adults are not free to limit a child's
education or use fear, love, power of suggestion, or their own
influence over a child to make a child learn.
5. The only three means a teacher may use to educate children are the
child's natural environment, the training of good habits and exposure
to living ideas and concepts. This is what CM's motto "Education is an
atmosphere, a discipline, a life" means.
6. "Education is an atmosphere" doesn't mean that we should create an
artificial environment for children, but that we use the opportunities
in the environment he already lives in to educate him. Children learn
from real things in the real world.
7. "Education is a discipline" means that we train a child to have good
habits and self-control, both in actions and in thought.
8. "Education is a life" means that education should apply to body,
soul and spirit. The mind needs ideas of all kinds, so the child's
curriculum should be varied and generous with many subjects included.
9. The child's mind is not a bucket to be filled with facts that bunch
up into thought-groups, as Herbart said.
10. The child's mind is also not a bag for holding knowledge. It is a
living thing and needs knowledge to grow. As the stomach was designed
to digest food, the mind is designed to digest knowledge and needs no
special training or exercises to make it ready to learn.
11. This is not just splitting hairs; Herbart's philosophy that the
mind is like an empty stage waiting for bits of information to be
inserted puts too much responsibility on the teacher to prepare
detailed lessons. Students taught this way have lots of knowledge
taught at them, without getting much out of it.
12. Instead, we believe that children's minds are capable of digesting
real knowledge, so we provide a rich, generous curriculum that exposes
children to many interesting, living ideas and concepts. From this
principle, we can deduce that--
13. "Education is the science of relations," which means that children
have minds capable of making their own connections with knowledge and
experiences, so we make sure the child learns about nature, science and
art, knows how to make things, reads many living books and that they
are physically fit. Our job isn't to teach everything about everything,
but to inspire interests that will help children make connections with
the world around him.
14. Children have two guides to help them in their moral and
intellectual growth--"the way of the will," and "the way of reason."
15. Children must learn the difference between "I want" and "I will."
They must learn to distract their thoughts when tempted to do what they
may want but know is not right, and think of something else, or do
something else, interesting enough to occupy their mind. After a short
diversion, their mind will be refreshed and able to will with renewed
strength.
16. Children must learn not to lean too heavily on their own reasoning.
Reasoning is good for logically demonstrating mathematical truth, but
unreliable when judging ideas because our reasoning will justify all
kinds of erroneous ideas if we really want to believe them.
17. Knowing that reason is not to be trusted as the final authority in
forming opinions, children must learn that their greatest
responsibility is choosing which ideas to accept or reject. Good habits
of behavior and lots of knowledge will provide the discipline and
experience to help them do this.
Principles 15, 16 and 17 should save children from the sort of careless
thinking that causes people to exist at a lower level of life than they
need to.
18. We teach children that all truths are God's truths, and that
secular subjects are just as divine as religious ones. Children don't
go back and forth between two worlds when they focus on God and then
their school subjects; there is unity among both because both are of
God and, whatever children study or do, God is always with them.
These books are called the 'Home
Education Series' based on the title of the first volume, not because
they deal wholly or in principle with 'home' as opposed to 'school'
education.
Preface
to the Third Edition
The way we behave results from our principles, even if the only
principles we have are ones like--'It doesn't matter,' or, 'What's the
use?'
Every job implies a need to observe certain foundational principles in
order to accomplish the job.
These two considerations make me think that it's useful for those of us
who take our important work seriously to take a careful look at the
principles that are the foundation of the parent's job.
We believe that the individuality of parents is a great benefit for
their children. We know that when an idea takes possession of a mind,
how to apply the idea takes care of itself. Therefore, I'm not going to
burden these pages with lots of instructions, practical tips and other
crutches that might interfere with the free, natural relationship
between parent and child. How great our nation is depends on how far
parents take generous and enlightened views of their important job and
the way to do it, when those views and methods are given to them.
The following essays have been published as articles in the Parents' Review, and they were
delivered at various times to a group of parents who are doing a
practical study of the principles of education. This group of parents
is called the 'Parents' National Educational Union.' The Parents'
Union's purpose is to advance a specific kind of educational thought
methodically and steadfastly. This educational thought has two main
principles. First is the recognition that habit has a physical reality,
and this makes up the physical, material side of education. Second is
the recognition that ideas have the power to inspire and transform.
This makes up the spiritual, non-material side of education. These two
guiding principles cover the whole field of human nature and,
therefore, they should help us to deal rationally with all the complex
problems of education. The purpose of the following essays isn't to
give an exhaustive application of these two principles. Even the
British Museum itself isn't big enough to contain all the books that
would be needed to do that! Instead, my purpose is to give an example
or suggestion here and there about how a particular habit might be
developed, or how a specific transforming idea might be planted and
cultivated. The intent of this volume means that I'll be reiterating
the same principles in connection with different applications. I hope
that the following hints and suggestions will be helpful to busy
parents even if they rest on profound educational principles. I also
hope that they'll be suggestive and inspiring to teachers in some way.
Ambleside,
May 1904.
pg 1
Chapter 1 - The Family
'The family is the unit of the nation.'--F. D. Maurice.
Rousseau
Succeeded in Waking Parents Up
I don't think any other educational thinker has affected
parents as deeply as Rousseau did. People don't read Emile much anymore, but many
current theories about what kind of routine is appropriate for children
have their origin in that book, although most people may not be aware
of it. Everybody knows--and those who lived when Rousseau lived knew it
even better than we do--that Jean Jacques Rousseau's character didn't
earn him the right to act as an authority on anything, much less
education. Even he admits that he was a pathetic person, and we don't
see any reason to doubt the truth of his Confessions. It isn't his charm or
style that carries us away. We aren't dazzled by his 'forceful
weakness.' No person can express
more than he is within
himself, and there's
a lack of grit in his philosophical theories that makes most of them
not worth including in current thought.
pg 2
Yet, in spite of his faults, the one thing he did have was the insight
to recognize the kind of evident truth that seems to take a genius to
discover. Since truth is valued even more than rubies, his recognition
of that great truth qualified him to be ranked as a great teacher.
People have asked, and still ask, is Rousseau one of the prophetic
voices? Thousands of educated European parents zealously followed him,
and his teaching has filtered down even to secluded homes in our own
era. That seems to be answer enough. In fact, no other educationalist
has had even a small percentage of the influence that Rousseau has had.
People who fell under his spell in the fashionable world, such as
Princess Galitzin of Russia, abandoned society to take their children
off to some remote area where they could devote all their time and
resources to their parental duties. Refined mothers retired from the
world and sometimes even left their husbands so that they could learn
the classics, mathematics, science, and anything else that might enable
them to teach their children themselves. 'What else am I here for?'
they asked. And the sense that raising their children was the most
important obligation for any person kept spreading.
No matter how extreme the methods Rousseau had suggested,
he still would have people following him, because he happened to touch
a nerve that affected the hearts of many people. He was one of the few
educationalists who appealed to parental instincts. He never said,
'There's no hope that we can rely on parents, so we'll have to work on
the children without them!' That's the kind of disheartening,
pessimistic thing we say today. Instead, Rousseau basically said,
'Parents, this task is yours, and
pg 3
you're the only ones who can do it. It's up to you, parents of small
children, to be the saviors of the next thousand generations of
children. Nothing else matters. All the schemes that people work so
hard at are nothing compared to this one serious business of raising
our children to be superior to ourselves.'
And, as we've seen, people listened. The response to his teaching was
as overwhelming as letting water out of a dam. Parental enthusiasm
never saw such fervor as it did then. And Rousseau, as weak and
unworthy as he was, taught one correct truth: he turned the hearts of
the fathers to the children, which helped prepare a generation for the
Lord. But, unfortunately, although he laid the right foundation, the
rest of his teaching offered nothing but wood, hay and stubble to build
with.
Rousseau was successful at awakening parents to their parental duties.
He showed them that their parental obligations were binding, profoundly
serious, and covered an extensive range. But he failed, and rightly so,
when he offered his own clumsy conceit as an educational code. Still,
his success is encouraging. He recognized that God entrusted the
training of every child to two people: a mother and a father. The
overwhelming response of parents to his ideas proved that the hearts of
parents will rise to the idea of the important task entrusted to them
in the same way that tides respond to the gravitational pull of the
moon.
Every parent is conscious that there are unwritten laws. His perception
of
how definite or how noble those laws are is in proportion to his own
status. Yet, even though every parent has this awareness, it might
still be interesting to make an attempt to define these laws, even if
the attempt is very slight.
pg 4
The
Family is Like a Commune
'The family is the unit of the nation.' This saying carries a lot of
meaning, and it suggests what some of the areas of a parent's calling
are. From time to time throughout history, communal societies have
arisen. Sometimes they're for the sake of cooperating in a great social
or religious cause. In recent times, communes have been a way of
protesting against inequalities in condition. But in every commune, the
fundamental rule is that all members share everything in common. We
tend to assume in our careless way that these attempts at communal
living are doomed to failure, but that's not always the case. In the
United States, communes seem to be flourishing, perhaps because hired
help is harder to get there than here in England. They have several
well-regulated, thriving communes. They do have many that fail
disastrously, but it seems to be for the same reason--a government
that's weakened because they tried to combine both democracy and
communal principles. In other words, they tried to live together in a
common life, while each person did what seemed right in his own eyes. A
communistic group can only thrive when it has strong absolute rule.
Before the idea of collectivism [the
idea that the people should own the means of production; this is how
Soviet communism worked] became popular, a favorite dream of
socialism was that each State of Europe would be divided into all kinds
of small, self-contained communes. Sometimes the thing we want is
something we already have, if we could only see it. The fact is, the
family unit is like a commune. In a family, the undivided property is
enjoyed by all members in common, and all have equal social status, yet
different duties. In places that still have patriarchal rule, families
merge into tribes and
pg 5
the head of the family is the tribe's chief, with absolute sovereign
rule. In England, families are usually small. Parents, their children
and dependents, and the servants and things related to their household,
form part of the family.
Because families are so small, we don't notice their character. We
don't
notice the force of the family's ruler. We don't see that this natural
commune is the unit that our country is built with, and we fail to
realize that the family, like any commune, needs to fulfill all the
duties of the government with the same kind of delicacy, exactness and
detailed thoroughness that are suitable for any small operation.
The
Family Must be Social
A communal perspective doesn't mean that the family should have a
domestic policy of isolation. In fact, a nation is only civilized in
proportion to how close and friendly it is with other nations--not one
or two nations, but many. A nation that's isolated is uncultured and
primitive. We've seen how families who keep to themselves for
generations [inbreeding?] tend
to decline in intelligence and virtue.
The
Family Must Serve Its Neighbors
A nation is probably only as healthy as how many proper outlets it
has--how many colonies and dependents that it tries to include in its
national
life. And the miniature nation--the family--is the same way. Struggling
families at the bottom of the socio-economic ladder, orphanages,
missions, people whose paths we cross who have needs, all help to
sustain the family's higher life.
pg 6
The
Family Must Serve the Nation
But it isn't enough for the family commune to be on friendly terms with
its neighbors and strangers that cross its path. The nation is
constructed of family units. The nation, like the human body, is an
organic, living whole body, made up of lots of smaller living cellular
organisms. The family life is only complete when it meets its
obligation of contributing to the health of the whole body. The family
needs to share in public interests, help with public works, and value
what's good for the public. If the family isn't participating in the
life of the nation, then it's no longer a vital part of the living
whole organism. In fact, it becomes harmful, like decayed tissue in a
human body.
The
Divine Order as it Relates to Families and Their Relationships With
Other Nations
The family's concern isn't limited to the nation. A nation needs to
have wider relations and be in touch with the whole world, always
keeping up with the changes of human progress. And every integral part
of the nation--meaning each family--needs to share this attitude. This
is the simple and natural fulfillment of the noble dream of the
brotherhood of mankind. Every person attached to a family is bound by
ties of love even where there are no ties of blood. Every family is
united with a civic bond to form the nation. Every nation is allied
with other nations in love, and doesn't want to be outdone in virtue.
Everyone, whether nation or family, fulfills their roles like little
children around the feet and under the approving smile of the Heavenly
Father. This is the divine order of things, and every family is called
to fulfill its part. A little bit of leaven leavens the whole lump of
dough. That's why it's vitally important for every family to recognize
pg 7
the nature of the family bond and its obligations. In the same way that
water can't rise any higher than its source, we can't live at a level
any higher than our concept of our place and task in life.
Families
are Obligated to Learn
Languages and to Show Courtesy When They Go Overseas
Does regarding all education, community and
social relationships from the perspective of family have any practical outcome?
Yes--in fact, so much so that there's hardly any problem in life that
can't be solved within the context of the family. Take, for example,
the question of what we should teach children. Is there one subject
that should take priority over other subjects? Yes, one group of
subjects has an imperative moral
claim on us. The nation is obligated to have relationships of brotherly
kindness with other nations. Since the family unit is an integral part
of the nation, it's the duty of every family to have brotherly dealings
and conversations with the families of other nations when the occasion
arises. Therefore, learning the languages of neighboring nations is
more than a way to gain knowledge and culture. It's an obligation of
moral duty that helps realize the goal of universal brotherhood. For
that reason, every family should try to cultivate two languages besides
its own from the time the children are tiny.
One time, a pretty young British girl was staying at a German health
spa with her mother. They were the only British people there, and they
probably forgot that Germans are better linguists than we are. The
young lady sat through the long meals with a book. She hardly even
stopped reading long enough to eat, and only spoke a few words to her
mother, like
pg 8
'What is that mishmash supposed to be?' or 'How much longer do we have
to put up with these dull people?' She should have remembered that no
family can live only for itself. She and her mother were representing
England, and were all of England that that little German community
might ever know. If she had kept that in mind, she might have returned
the kind greetings that the German ladies welcomed her with.
The
Restoration of the Family
But we can't take any more time on this broad topic. Let's conclude
with this notable quote from Mr. Morley's Appreciation of Emile. [John Morley wrote a two-volume book
about Rousseau] 'Education gradually started to be thought of as it
related to the family. Improving the ideas that education was based on
was just one phase of the great movement of restoring the family. This
movement was a striking phenomena in France in the latter half of the
1700's. Education began to include the whole system of parent/child
relationships from earliest infancy to adulthood. The wider feelings
about these relationships tended to result in more closeness, more
intimacy, and the presence of tenderness and long attachment.'
Rousseau's work in the cause of 'the restoration of the family' earned
him the respect and gratitude of mankind. It has proved to be a solid,
lasting work. Even to this day, family relationships in France have
more grace, are more tender, closer and inclusive than they are
in British families. They're also more expansive, which leads to
generally kinder and friendlier behavior. The family bond is so strong
and satisfying that their youth don't find it urgently necessary to
'fall in love.' The mother makes herself available to be
pg 9
friends with her young daughters, and they respond with complete
loyalty and devotion. With the exception of Zola, French maidens are
wonderfully pure, simple and sweet, because their affections are fully
satisfied.
'The restoration of the family' sounds so inviting to us here in
England, with each of us focused on our own little family circle around
the hearth. It seems like family ties haven't been as tight for the
last couple of generations. Yet no place has a more
lovely, idyllic family life than the best British homes. But even the
wisest people can find something new to learn. Nations and individuals
need to do what's appropriate and true to their own character. We're
mostly satisfied with the state of family life here in England. Still,
we can learn something from the way French families include everyone.
They value extended family members, like in-laws, aunts, cousins,
widows and old childless spinsters. The French are able to find all
kinds of ways to make these kinds of dependents useful members of the
household, where they would just be in the way in British homes. As a
result, the children have more opportunities to practice kindnesses and
self-control that make home life sweeter. There's undoubtedly two sides
of the coin, and there are probably some aspects of French family life
that we wouldn't like. Still, we'd be wise to study French families
because they offer us opportunities to learn a lesson or two. Even
where our British home life is at its best, the family can tend to
become self-centered and self-sufficient instead of reaching out to
other families. Extending ourselves outwards towards our neighbours is
what families are supposed to do.
pg 10
Chapter 2 - Parents As Rulers
The
Family Government is an Absolute Monarchy
Let's continue our illustration of the family as a miniature nation
that has the same responsibilities, rights and requirements that
nations have. The parents are like the 'government,' but the parental
government is always an absolute monarchy. It makes adjustments
according to the needs of its citizens, but it rules in accordance to
whatever laws the parent has engraved on his own conscience. Some
parents reach levels of higher thinking and are like Moses when he came
down from Mt. Sinai beaming, with the tablets of The Law whole and
complete in his hands. Other parents never reach those challenging
heights and have to be satisfied with whatever scraps and fragments of
broken tablet they can find lying at the bottom of the mountain. But
whether a parent's knowledge of the law is thorough or only a fragment,
he
can't escape his responsibility to rule his household.
The
Parent's Rule Can't Be Delegated
The first thing we want to know about any ruler is, 'Is he capable of
ruling? Does he know how to maintain his authority?' A ruler who can't
rule is like a biased judge, or an immoral priest, or an uneducated
teacher. He's incapable of the most essential attribute of his role.
It's even more true in a family than in a State government.
pg 11
A king can delegate the rule of his country to someone else. But a
parent's functions are so urgent that he can't delegate the job to
anyone else. He can have helpers, but the minute he abdicates his rule
and gives over his functions and authority to someone else, the rights
of parenthood pass to that other person and no longer belong to the
parent. British parents in India have felt the heartache of coming home
to England only to find that their children's affections belong to
someone else and their duty is owed to someone else, while they, the
parents, are relegated to the role of a fairy godmother who can have
fun with the children, but has no authority over them at all. And this
isn't anyone's fault, because the guardians who have kept the children
at home have done their best to keep the children loyal to their
parents while they were away overseas.
Reasons
Why Some Parents Abdicate
This is an example of one obstacle that the head of the family can
stumble over. Parents sometimes think that parental authority is built
into them, a trait that might lie dormant inside of them, but that can
never be separated from parenthood. Such parents think it's okay to
let their children do whatever they want from the time they're babies,
but then they find themselves complaining along with King Lear,
'It's more painful than a snake's bite
To have an ungrateful child!'
But it was King Lear's own fault. All along, he had been stripping off
the honor and authority that should have been his, and handing his
rights as parent over to his children. This quote tells us why he had
been doing this: his disappointment is in his children's
ungratefulness. His goal and what he had been working for had been the
thanks of his children. His desire for them to think of him as an
affectionate father was more important to him than his duty towards
them. And in proportion to how much he neglected his duty towards them,
they
pg 12
were oblivious of their duty towards him. I suspect that parents'
unrestrained desire for approval is to blame for more ruined families
than any other single cause. One current author has a mother saying,
'But aren't you afraid of me, Bessie?'
'No, of course not. Who could be afraid of a dear, sweet, kind little
mother like you?'
That kind of praise is sweet to many affectionate mothers who yearn for
the love and approval of their children. But they don't recognize that
words like these from their children are as treacherous as words of
outright defiance.
Popularity isn't the only shrine where parents sacrifice their
authority. Prospero [The Tempest]
describes himself as,
'Wholly dedicated
To studying and improving my mind.'
Meanwhile, his authority over his dominion is given over to Antonio. Is
it any wonder that Antonio found that having authority fit him like a
glove, and that Prospero found himself usurped from the role he failed
to fill? In the same way, many busy parents who are preoccupied with
many cares suddenly find that the authority they failed to hang onto
has slipped from their hands. That authority may have been picked up by
someone less fit to wield it. Perhaps a daughter has been given over to
the care of a neighbor family because her own parents are always out
looking for rare art prints.
In other cases, the desire for an easy life tempts parents to let
things slide. Their children are good kids and won't go too far wrong,
we're told. That may be true. But, no matter how good the children are,
the parents have an obligation to society to make them better than they
are, and to bless the world with people who are more than good-natured
and agreeable. Their children should be raised to have a determined
purpose, and perseverance to meet that purpose.
pg 13
The love of convenience, the desire for popularity, preoccupation with
other work--these are just some of the causes that lead to parental
abdication, which is disastrous for society. When we understand the
nature of parental authority and how it's used, we view parental
abdication as more than mischievous. It's also immoral. And I'd like to
add that all the reasons why parents abdicate their role as leader of
the family really boil down to one underlying cause: the job is
overwhelmingly hard and too much trouble to bother with. The temptation
of parents to neglect their duty is the same one that tempts kings to
escape from their duty by becoming monks.
'The head that wears the crown rests uneasily,'
even when the crown is the natural crown of parenthood.
The
Majesty of Parenthood
Paul's advice that rulers should rule 'with diligence' [Rom 12:8] helps to shed light on
the nature and goal of authority. Authority isn't an issue of personal
honor and dignity. Authority is something to use and serve with. The
honor that
goes with it is only to help those in authority to serve better. An
arbitrary or severe parent who demands compliance and duties 'because I
said so' for his own honor and glory, is even more hopelessly wrong
than the parent who abdicates his role. The majesty of parents is
hedged in with obedience only because it's good for children to
'faithfully serve, honor, and humbly obey' the leaders God has placed
them under. Only family life can properly train children to have the
noble character of 'proud submission and dignified obedience.' If their
own parents don't inspire and cultivate obedience, reverence and
loyalty, how will these glorious graces of character survive in a
harsh, competitive world?
pg 14
It can be a challenge to keep an attitude of authority these days when
democracy is such a dominant concept and when even educational advice
says that children should be treated as equals from infancy. But the
children themselves confirm that authority is fine for parents.
Children naturally have a sweet humility and dependence on us, and it
fosters a gentle dignity and trace of reserve in parents that is very
agreeable. Parents don't have the option of laying aside the burden of
honor that rests upon them, or sinking under it. All of us have
witnessed families full of confidence, sympathy and love where the
mother is like a queen among her children and the father is honored
like a king. When there are two parents who honor each other and are
still free and relaxed with each other, it's easier for them to
maintain the elusive state of parenthood. The first element in raising
children who are loyal, honorable, reverent and able to command respect
is to have a slight, undefined sweet sense of dignity in the household.
Children
are a Public Trust and a Divine Trust
Parental authority rests on the fact that the parent's role is that of
a deputy, in two ways. First of all, God, the Ruler of all of us, has
personally appointed parents as His immediate deputies. Not only are
they
required to fulfill His duties towards the children, but they have to
represent Him. To a little child, his parents rule over him like gods.
And, even more seriously, in a little child's eyes, God is like his parents. He's not
capable of conceiving a greater and more wonderful personality than
that of his own parents. Thus, his first approach to the infinite God
is through them. They are
pg 15
his standard for the best and highest. If the standard by which he
measures God is as small as weak as his own small self, how will he
ever have the
reverent attitude that he needs to grow spiritually?
Besides that, parents hold their children in trust for society. A child
is only 'my own' in a limited sense. Children are entrusted to parents
to be raised for the good of their community. In this sense, parents
are the ones who have been given the authority that's needed for
carrying out
their job. If they fail, they can be replaced. The one State [Sparta?] whose name is no more than
a proverb that encompasses a group of virtues that we have no other
word to describe, is also a State that practically deprived parents of
their right to parent because they failed to raise their children with
the virtues that were good for the society. Naturally, the State
reserves the right to raise its children in the way it deems best with
the least possible co-operation of parents. In our own day, a
neighboring nation [Germany?]
has decided to take charge or rearing its infants itself. As soon as
they can crawl, or even earlier, but well before they can run or speak,
they're brought to a 'Maternal School' and nurtured to have the values
that a good citizen should have, as carefully as if they were being fed
on
mother's milk. The plan is still in experimental stages, but I have no
doubt that it will be followed through because this nation discovered
long ago that, if you want a certain kind of adult, you have to train
the child to be that kind of person, and that nation has acted
consistently
on that discovery.
Perhaps the State taking over the parental role is the last disaster
that can happen to a nation. These poor children will have to grow up
in a world where even the name of God isn't allowed to be heard.
They'll never know
pg 16
about the loyalty to parents, brotherly love, and kindness to neighbors
that all children learn from living in families, except for a very few
unnatural families. After a certain age, or at certain hours, these
children might be allowed to visit their parents. But once the
alienation from their parents has been established, and the strongest,
sweetest bond has been broken and the parents have been publicly
absolved of their duty, the destruction of the home is complete. What
we'll be seeing is a generation who have grown up like orphans from
their birth. This is unprecedented in the history of the world. Even
Lycurgus left children with their parents for their first six years.
Some newspapers applaud this nation's plan and advice us to follow
their example in England, but God forbid that we should ever lose faith
in the value and blessing of family life. Parents who recognize that
their children are both a public trust and a divine trust, and who
understand that their authority is deputed authority that shouldn't be
treated lightly, laid aside or abused--such parents keep the home
immune for the nation, and safeguard the privileges of their role as
parents.
The
Limitations and Scope of Parental Authority
Now that we recognize that it isn't the parent's decision whether to
use or set aside the authority they hold, let's look at the limits and
extent of this authority. First of all, this authority is to be
asserted and used only in the best interests of the children, whether
it's to benefit their mind, their body or their situation. And this is
where there's leeway for the individual discrimination and delicate
intuitions that parents are blessed with. A mother who makes her
adolescent daughter get the exercise she needs outside is acting within
the limits of her rights. But a reserved father who enjoys quiet
evenings and discourages his children from social activities, is only
thinking of his own
pg 17
preferences rather than the needs of his children. That's an invalid
use of
his authority.
As I said, the authority of parents only rests on a secure foundation
as long as their children understand that their parents' authority has
been
delegated to them. A child who knows that he's being brought up to
serve his country, and that his parents are fulfilling a Divine role
that they were commissioned to discharge, won't turn into a rebellious
teen.
Even more, although the child's independent emancipation is a gradual
process as they learn the art and science of self-management day by
day, there will come a day when the parents' right to rule is over. The
only thing left for them to do will be to pass on the reins gracefully
and leave their grown sons and daughters as free agents--even if they
still live at home, even if their parents don't think they're fit to be
trusted with their own self-management. If they fail to manage
themselves with self-control regarding how they spend their time, what
they do, their money, who they choose as friends, then it's most likely
their parents' fault for not gradually introducing them to the full
liberty that's their right as men and women. At any rate, by then it's
too late to make them stick around for more training. Ready or not,
it's time for them to take control of the reins of their lives for
themselves.
As far as how to use authority, the best
pg 18
way seems to be the art of ruling without seeming like you're ruling.
The law inspires dread in evil-doers, but it's for the praise of those
who do well. In families, just like in States, the best government is
one where peace, happiness, truth, justice, religion and purity are
maintained without having to invoke the law. A household is happy if it
has only a few rules, and where a simple, 'Mom doesn't like this,' or
'Dad wants us to do that,' are all it takes.
pg 19
Chapter 3 - Parents as Inspirers: Children
Must Be Born Again Into a Life of Intelligence
Parents
Owe Their Children a Second Birth
M. Adolf Monod [1802-1856, celebrated
Protestant Reformed preacher in Paris] said that children owe
their mother a second birth--the first birth is their natural, physical
birth, and the second is into the spiritual life of intelligence--and
they also owe their mother a moral sense of right and wrong. If he'd
been writing for the general public and not just for mothers, I'm sure
he would have said that the work of achieving this second birth
requires the equal efforts of both
parents. How did he come to such a surprising concept? He observed
that great men always seem to come from great mothers--mothers who are
gifted with an unlimited ability to take great pains in raising their
children. He compares this work to a second birth that launches the
child to a life on a higher plane, and the higher this life is, the
more blessed the child's life will be. He says that every child has a
right to this kind of second birth into a more complete human being,
and that it's up to his parents
to secure this kind of life for him. If Monod's conclusions were only
based on his own deductions, we might ignore them and not trouble
ourselves with this second birth. After all, parents may and often do
neglect to secure it for their children. Or we might bring up
pg 20
examples of good parents whose sons turned out badly, and indifferent
parents whose children sincerely tried to do right, therefore, what
good is it to try? We think that a pat response like that lets us off
the hook.
Science
Supports Monod's View
The appeal to be a good mother to your son because great men always
have good mothers is inspiring and rousing, but it's not the only
argument. To confirm how urgent this view is, we can look at the
inductive methods of science. Although science still hasn't found all
the answers, what it's already discovered is the truth that
should be adhered to for all parents who believe it. The parable of
Pandora's Box has some truth for us today, and a careless mother can
let a thousand misfortunes loose on her children by her disregard. But
there's also a 'cup of blessings' ready and waiting that parents can
dip into to provide health, strength, justice, mercy, truth and beauty
for their children.
Some may object that 'every good and perfect gift comes from the
father,' and that therefore it's presumptuous for human parents to
think they can bestow spiritual gifts to their children. But this
is just superstitious thinking and has no part of true religion. It
results in the disaster of many badly managed households and badly
governed families. We need to recognize that God uses people,
especially parents, as His vehicle for distributing gifts, and that He
is honored when His law is kept. He isn't honored when we take the
attitude of a royal attendant waiting for special favors. When we
recognize that, then we'll make the effort to understand the laws
that are written, not only on stone tablets and paper, but on the
hearts of our
children. And when we understand the law, we'll perceive with
thankfulness and enlarged
pg 21
hearts all of the natural
ways in which God shows mercy to thousands of people who love Him and
keep His commandments.
But His commandment is 'exceedingly broad' and it seems to become
broader every year as science discovers new revelations. We need to
gird up our minds to keep up with all of these new revelations. We'll
also make an effort to keep the attitude of focused expectancy that it
takes to recognize the unity and continuity of scientific discoveries
with God's Word. It could be that only as we accept both scientific
discoveries and God's Word, and harmonize
them in a willing and obedient heart that we'll enter into the heritage
of
glad, holy living that is God's will for us.
Steps
and Methods of Attaining This Second Birth
In the light of current scientific thought, let's consider the steps
and methods needed for this second birth that is the child's right to
expect from his parents. 'Train up a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not depart from it,' isn't just a promise. It's
a statement of fact expressing the effect that results from a reasoned
process. The author of those words had lots of opportunities to arrive
at his conclusion. He'd watched lots of children grow up, and his
observations taught him that children could be divided into two
groups--those who were well-brought-up and turned out well, and those
who were badly-brought-up and turned out bad. Undoubtedly there were
exceptions, but the fact that they were exceptional only confirms the
truth of this rule.
But in this passage as much as in other scriptures, the promises and
warnings of the Bible will stand up to being tested with reasoned
methods. We may wonder why that's the case.
pg 22
And we aren't satisfied with an answer as general as 'because it's
natural and right.' We may observe and look for evidence until we
finally come to the conclusion that this result is inevitable, and
(unless there are unusual influences), no other result is even
conceivable. How much we obey the rule will be in direct proportion to
how much we recognize that the rule is inevitable.
Dr.
Henry Maudsley's Comments About Heredity
Almost all of what we know about heredity is irrelevant to the second
birth. But it applies to the first birth: 'qualities from a child's
father and mother, grandfather and grandmother, may be dormant and show
up in the child. His development will progress along the lines of those
qualities in his nature. It isn't so much education as inheritance
that's responsible for a child being brave or timid, generous or
selfish, cautious or reckless, boastful or modest, quick-tempered or
calm. The foundation of his character is laid in him at birth, and it
colors all of the emotions he'll feel and the ideas that go along with
them. The influence of carefully planned environment on a person is
tremendous, but a child's inherited nature determines the limit that
environment will have, and even, to some degree, the nature of that
environment which forms the foundation that all the later modifications
rest on.'
Disposition
and Character
If heredity is so important as it seems to be if a child comes into the
world with his character all ready laid out, then what's left for
parents to do except to stay out of the way and give him room to work
out his own salvation along the lines of his own individuality without
their interference? The strong tendency to naturalism in our day makes
us inclined to accept this view of the goals and limits of education.
Yes, it's a fact and
pg 23
it's the truth, but it's not the whole truth. The child brings disposition into the world with
him, but not character. He's born with tendencies that might just need
to
be reinforced, or re-channeled, or even repressed. His character--that
flowering of the person that prepares the fruit of his life--is a
formula consisting of the disposition he was born with, with
modifications, direction, and expansion provided by education,
circumstances, self-control and self-culture when he's older, and, most
of all, the supreme power of the Holy Spirit, even when that power
isn't evident or even requested.
The great labor of creating character is the single most effectual work
that people can attempt. How is it to be accomplished? We'll start our
question from a physical perspective. Yes, it's the lowest basis, but
that's why it forms the foundation for the rest. The rooms on the first
floor of any building are pleasant, but nobody starts a building with
the first floor. What would it rest on? The difference between the
physical gray brain tissue and the mind that works through it is like
the difference between a song and the vocal chords of the singer. The
distinction is even more physical than the difference between the
physical brain and the spiritual person. The brain
registers and effects every movement of thought and feeling, whether
it's conscious or unconscious, with detectable molecular movement. It
supports the unlimited activities of the mind by balancing an enormous
amount of activity with an enormous amount of waste. The brain is the
physical organ of the mind that, under present conditions, is
inseparable from, and indispensable to, the vital spirit. Every time we
think a thought, there's a distinct series of activities set into motion
pg 24
in some area of the physical brain tissue, in the same way that there's
a series of activities that have to happen within the arm muscles in
order for the hand to write a sentence. Once we recognize this, we'll
understand that the way the brain tissue behaves provides us with a
possible key to guaranteed effectiveness and a systematic approach in
our educational efforts, speaking of education in its most worthy sense
of character formation.
We heard Dr. Maudsley's comments about heredity. Now let's hear what he
has to say about environment, which practically lets us define the
possibilities that education can have.
Dr
Maudsley's Comments About the Physical Effects of 'Certain Experiences
in Life'
'Anything that's existed with complete consciousness leaves something
behind it after it leaves the mind or brain. It leaves behind a
functional tendency to reproduce or reappear in the consciousness
later. No mental activity is as fleeting as something written in water.
Some evidence of it always remains behind to make it easier if it needs
to be repeated. Every impression of the senses, every nerve impulse
from one area of the brain to another, every cerebral action that
generates movement of the muscles, leaves behind some modification in
the brain nerves that it relates to. It leaves an impression, a memory
of itself to make it easier to do the same thing again. The more often
it's repeated, the easier it is to repeat it again. On the other hand,
because a trace is left behind, it's impossible to say that the action
could never happen again under some circumstance, no matter how trivial
or insignificant the action is. If any kind of stimulation happens in a
nerve cell and none happens to an identical nerve cell right next to
it, that stimulation will create a difference in them
pg 25
so that the two cells will never be the same as one another again.
Whatever the nature of this physical process might be, the process is
the physical basis of memory, and it's the foundation of the
development all of our mental functions.
'The change that happens in the nerve cells after the activity or
function is over has been called different things--residuum, relic,
trace, disposition, or vestige. It's also been called a potential or
latent or dormant idea. It isn't just definite ideas that leave
physical impressions behind and lay the foundations for later
modes of thought, feeling and action. Everything that affects the
nervous system, feelings of pleasure and pain, desires, and even the
outward reaction to desires leave impressions behind, too. Sometimes
certain talents are formed practically or completely involuntarily.
Complex actions that were first done with total application of effort
and attention become automatic after enough repetition. Ideas that had
to be deliberately thought of as related to each other begin to
converge and become associated with each other without our conscious
thinking about it, so that a person with enough experience in the world
begins to have quick perception or intuition. Once feelings are active,
they leave behind a lot of unconscious residual impressions that affect
the way the character of the person evolves. That's how, apart from the
original inborn nature of a person, contentment, depression, cowardice,
bravery, and even moral feelings, a moral sense are created from
certain experiences in
life.'
Our
Era Has Acquired a Great Educational Outline
And this sketches out a wonderful educational outline for us. It's
probably a good thing that we don't realize how much liberty we have.
If we did, we might be seized with such a fervor of educational
enthusiasm that we'd start acting like those early Christians who
expected Jesus to come
pg 26
any day. How would a person ever have the patience to buy and sell and
collect if he knew that he was destined to paint the greatest picture
the world had ever known? And if we had a striking vision of what our
little child could become under our hands, how would we ever have the
patience for our daily routine work? Maybe Science has finally revealed
the
rationale for education as a Divine sign that we've become more fit for
the task because we've arrived at a higher sense of moral
responsibility. Imagine what would happen if immoral people were able
to fully discern the possibilities that education could bring! But
we're so slow!
'Tradition lays on us like a heavy weight,
As heavy as frost and almost as deep as life!'
It's been a whole generation since Dr. Maudsley wrote his words about
the physical impressions of mental activity, and since other
physiologists wrote similar things to the world. I've chosen wording
that has stood the test of time on purpose because, in our day, a
hundred leading scientists in England and overseas are saying the same
thing. Every scientist believes this! And what about us? We go on doing
everything the way it's always been done as if nothing had been said.
It's as if, every day and every hour, we're letting seeds of corn,
hemlock, bramble and rose drop from our careless hands.
Let's go over the outline of our liberties according to the passage of
Dr. Maudsley that I quoted above.
Some
Articles Contained in This Outline
One thing we can do is to lay the physical basis of memory. When the
wide-eyed baby reaches out with aimless kicking on the rug, he's
unconsciously receiving the first impressions that will form his
earliest memories. We can influence
pg 27
those early memories. We can make sure that the earliest sights he sees
are orderly, neat and beautiful. We can make sure that the first sounds
that his ear drinks in are musical, soft, tender and happy. We can make
sure that his nose only smells delicate purity and sweetness. Those
first memories are engraved on the unconscious memory, where they stay
for life. As we'll see later, memories have a certain ability to
accumulate. Where some memories exist, other ones of the same kind will
gather, and all of life is ordered along the lines of those first pure,
tender memories.
Another thing we can do is to lay the foundation for the development of
all the mental functions. Is there such thing as a child who doesn't
wonder, or revere, or like fairy tales, or think wise child-thoughts?
Maybe not. If there is, it's only because the pollen grain was never
delivered to fertilize the seed that was waiting in the child's soul.
According to Dr. Maudsley's Physiology
of the Mind, there are certain things that parents can arrange
for the adult the child will become, even in his early childhood:
His definite ideas about certain subjects, such as how he relates to
other people.
His habits in things like neatness or disorder, promptness and
moderation.
Whether the general way he thinks is affected by generosity or
selfishness.
The way he feels and what he does as a result of the way he thinks.
What he thinks about--the trivial affairs of daily life, nature, the
way the mind works, how God relates to people.
pg 28
His distinguishing talent--music, speaking, creativeness.
The way the disposition of his character shows and affects his family
and others he interacts with regularly--reserved or open, sullen or
friendly, depressed or cheerful, timid or confident.
pg 29
Chapter 4 - Parents As Inspirers: The Life
of the Mind Grows on Ideas
'Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a
habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.'
Summary
of the Last Chapter
The last chapter ended with an incomplete summary of what we might call
the parents' educational jobs. We determined that it's up to the
parents to decide for the adult their child will become the ways he'll
think, work, feel and act. They'll determine his disposition, his
particular talent, what kinds of things he'll think about. Who can set
a limit on what's in the parents' power? Parents rule the destiny of
their child because they have the fallow field of the child's nature
all to themselves. They take care of the first sowing, or else they
choose someone else to sow those first seeds.
Educational
Concepts of the Past
What is it that parents sow? Ideas.
It's imperative that we recognize what the only educational seed we
have is, and how to distribute this seed. But our thoughts about
education are so radically wrong! We can't even use the right words
because we aren't thinking the right thing. Maybe we've finally gotten
over the mistaken educational notion that the child is a blank slate. No
pg 30
one thinks of a child's soul as a blank tablet just waiting for the
teacher's skilled art. But the notion that's replaced that traditional
heresy rests on the same false foundation of the dignified job and
infallible wisdom of the teacher. Here's how it's expressed in its
cruder form:
Pestalozzi's
Theory
'Pestalozzi focused more on developing the faculties harmoniously than
on using them to get knowledge. He worked on making the vase ready
instead of filling it.'
Froebel's
Theory
With Froebel, the concept becomes bolder and more beautiful. The soul
is no longer a vase that needs to be shaped by a skilled potter. It's a
flower--perhaps a perfect rose that needs to be delicately and
painstakingly built petal by petal, every curve and curl. If the
teacher does her part to assemble the flower properly, the perfume and
living glow will come. With patience, sunshine and rain, space and room
for the flower to grow, the blossom will open and expand. So the
teacher works hard to add a touch of 'imagination' here, or 'judgment'
there, working first on the 'perceptive faculties,' and then the
'conceptive faculties' in their turn. All this time, the goal is to
affect the moral and intellectual nature of the child. With positive
influences, encouraging looks and cheerful moods, the teacher seeks to
touch the flower of a perfect life into being, one petal at a time.
Kindergarten
is a Vital Concept
Reading about the meaning and work of education is fascinating, and it
inspires a special enthusiasm and devotion from those 'gardeners' who
see their children as plants. In fact, it may be that the concept of
Kindergarten is the educational concept we've had up til now.
pg 31
But
Science is Changing From the Foundations Up
But, in these days of revolutionary thinking, all of science is
changing its most basic precepts-- geology, anthropology, chemistry,
philology and
biology. We need to consider whether we should change our concept of
Education.
Changes
in How We Think of Heredity
For example, we're learning that 'heredity' isn't the simple and
direct means of transmitting ability, inclination, strengths and faults
from
parent or distant ancestor to child that we thought it was. That makes
us less anxious,
because we were starting to suspect that, if heredity was all that
counted, then most of us would have inherited exaggerated defects, such
as stupidity, insanity, birth defects, and diseases. All of us have
some of that in our ancestry.
Does
Education Have Any Influence?
So, we start to wonder if education has as much influence as we
thought. Can it directly form character at all? How much truth is there
in
the appealing, easy concept that education consists of drawing out,
strengthening and guiding the various mental 'faculties'? Parents are
very protective of their children's individuality. They're suspicious
of any attempt to make all children develop on the same plan. And their
instinctive protectiveness is right. What if education really was
nothing more than systematic schemes to draw out every ability we have?
We'd all develop identically, as alike as two peas in a pod. And then
we'd be bored to death with each other. Some people have an uneasy
feeling that the world is heading towards this kind of sameness, but
there's no need to fear that--it will never happen.
We can have faith that the individual personality of each of us is just
as precious to God, and
pg 32
necessary for humanity to be complete. Our individuality won't be left
at the mercy of speculative critics. We're completely safe. Even the
most vulnerable child is protected against the forces of educational
theories.
The
Word 'Education' is Inadequate
The issue of education is more complex than it looks at first glance,
and it's a good thing for us and for the world that that's the case.
Education is a life; you can neglect and starve and abuse the life, or
you can
value and nurture it. Either way, the beating of the heart, the
breathing
of the lungs, the development of the faculties (if there's any such
thing) are only indirectly under our care. Our lack of knowledge about
education is manifest by the fact that we have no word to express the
sustaining of a life. The
word education, which comes from e,
meaning out, and ducere, to
lead or draw, is very inadequate. It only covers the occasional mental
exercises that correspond to the exercises we use to train the muscles.
In fact, the word train, which comes from trahere, is almost synonymous. The
misconception that the goal of education is to develop and exercise the
mental faculties rests on these two words. Unfortunately, there is no
other word, so we'll have to use the word education.
The
Term 'Bringing Up'
The humble Saxon term 'bringing up' is closer to the truth, maybe
because it's so vague. At any rate, 'up' implies a progressive goal,
and 'bringing' implies some effort.
The fortunate phrasing of Matthew Arnold is probably the most complete
and adequate definition of education that we have: 'Education is an
atmosphere, a discipline, a life.' (I haven't been able to track down
the quote, but I'm pretty sure it was Matthew Arnold who said it.) It
shows greatness in a person to have come up with the phrase. Wiser
generations who come after us might come to see
pg 33
the accomplishment of a lifetime of urgent effort in that 'profound and
exquisite remark.'
An
Adequate Definition
Look at how the phrase covers the issue from three conceivable
perspectives. Subjectively, as it applies to the child, education is a
life. Objectively, as it affects the child, education is a discipline.
Relatively, regarding the child's environment, education is an
atmosphere.
We'll take a closer look at these three aspects later. For now, we'll
only clear the ground a little as it relates to the title of this
chapter--Parents as Inspirers. Note that, in this case, parents are
inspirers, not modelers.
A
Method is a Way to Reach a Desired End
Our work only becomes effective when we recognize our limitations. When
we clearly see what we have to do, what we can do, and what we can't
do, we're able to set to work with confidence and courage. We have an
end in view, and we're able to make our way towards that end in an
intelligent manner. A way towards an
end is a method. It's up to parents, not just to bring their
children into a life of intelligence and moral ability, but to sustain
the higher life that they've brought into being.
The
Life of the Mind Needs Ideas to Grow
That intelligent, moral life that we call education can only survive on
one kind of diet: it lives and grows on ideas.
A person can go through years of schooling without ever getting a
single vital idea. That's why so many well-fed bodies carry around a
weak, starved mind--and yet, there's no 'society for the prevention of
cruelty to children' crying out against parents for this. A few
years ago I heard about a fifteen year old girl who spent two years at
a school, and never once took part in
pg 34
a single lesson. That's because that's what her mother wanted. She
wanted all of her daughter's time and effort to be spent practicing
'fancy needlework.' Needlework is undoubtedly a survival skill
(although not quite survival of the fittest!) but it's possible to pass
even a University Local Exam without ever experiencing the vital
stirring of the mind that signifies the birth of an idea. If we've been
successful at avoiding the disturbing influence of a life-changing
idea, then we feel proud about 'finishing our education' when we
graduate, and we close our books and close our minds and remain as
ignorant as pygmies within the dark, dim forest of our own thoughts and
feelings.
What
is an Idea?
'A living thing of the mind,' according to past philosophers from Plato
to Bacon to Coleridge. We say that an idea strikes us, or impresses us,
or seizes us, or takes possession of us, or rules us. As it turns out,
our common terms are closer to the truth than the conscious thought
being expressed, which is usually the case. It's no exaggeration to
credit this kind of action and power to an idea. We form an ideal--which is to say, an embodied
idea--and our ideal exerts the strongest formative influence on us. Why
do you devote yourself to a particular pursuit or cause? 'Because,
twenty years ago, such and such an idea struck me,' is a common response to
every kind of life with purpose, every life devoted to working out a
particular idea. Isn't it amazing that, when we recognize how powerful
an idea is, both the word and the concept seldom enters into our
concept of education? Samuel Taylor Coleridge has successfully brought
the concept of an 'idea' into the sphere of today's scientific thought.
I'm not talking about the kind of scientific thought that's expressed
in the science of psychology.
Coleridge launched that term on the world himself,
pg 35
although, in his book Method,
he apologized for the use of such an arrogant term. I'm talking about
the science of how the mind and brain relate to each other and
interact. Currently, this science is clumsily termed 'mental
physiology' or 'psycho-physiology.'
In his book Method, Coleridge
gives us the following illustration of how an idea rises and progresses:
The
Rise and Progress of an Idea
'We can't think of any incident in human history that makes a more
profound impression on the mind than the moment when Christopher
Columbus, sailing on an unknown ocean, first noticed the startling
change of the magnetic needle. Many more of these kinds of incidences
happen when ideas from Nature are presented to minds that God chooses,
and they unfold in prophetic succession. God destined these orderly
glimpses to produce the most important revolutions in the state of man!
Above all else, Columbus's clear spirit was methodical. He saw the great
leading idea very distinctly that authorized him, poor pilot that he
was, to become a 'promiser of kingdoms.''
The
Beginning of an Idea
Notice the beginning of such ideas. They're 'presented to minds that
God
chooses.' This view of ideas fits accurately with what we know about
the history of great inventions and discoveries, and even with ideas
that rule our own lives. It corresponds well with the key we see in
Isaiah about where 'practical' ideas that we see elsewhere come from:
'Does the plowman continue to plow and open and break up clods of
earth? No, when he's finished clearing his land, doesn't he
pg 36
cast his caraway seed and scatter the cumin, and plant wheat in rows,
and barley in the most suitable place, and the spelt along the borders?
It's God who teaches him the right way to do it and instructs him . . .
He grinds cornmeal because he can't keep on threshing it . . . this
knowledge is also from the Lord of hosts, Who is wonderful in counsel,
and excellent in wisdom.' [Isaiah 28]
An
Idea Can Exist as a Vague Appetite
Sometimes ideas permeate the atmosphere instead of striking like a
weapon. 'The idea might exist in a straightforward, distinct, definite
form, like a clear circle in the mind of a mathematician. Or it might
only be an instinct, a vague yearning for something, like an impulse
that fills a young poet's eyes with tears, but he can't put his finger
on why. To inspire this 'yearning for something'--for things that are
lovely, honest and noble, is an educator's earliest and most important
task. How can these kinds of ideas that are perceived as an indefinite
longing be imparted to students? They can't be handed out as the
teacher determines, or dispensed on a set schedule. They dwell in the
thought-environment that surrounds the child like an atmosphere that he
takes in in the same way that he takes in every breath. This atmosphere
inspires a child's unconscious ideas of the right way to live--and it
comes from his parents. Every gentle look, every reverent tone of
voice, every kind word, every helpful act, pervades the
thought-environment that's around him like the air he breathes. He
doesn't think about these things. They may never enter his conscious
thought. But throughout his entire life, they inspire a 'vague appetite
towards something,' and his actions spring from this yearning. Parents,
you're
pg 37
an awesome and crucially serious presence in the life of the little
child
in your midst!
Children
Draw Inspiration from the Everyday Life Around Them
Knowing that children get direction and inspiration from things going
on casually around them makes us hold our breath--to think that our
careless words and actions are the starting-point and direction in
which they develop. There's no escape for parents. Like it or not,
parents are the ones who inspire their children because the
thought-environment of their children hangs around them like an
atmosphere around a planet. Children absorb the enduring ideas that
become those life-long yearning appetites from that atmosphere,
appetites towards things that might be lovely or sordid, worldly or
spiritual.
The
Order and Progress of Definite Ideas
Let's hear what Coleridge has to say about definite ideas that aren't
inhaled like air, but are conveyed to the mind in the same way that
food is conveyed to the physical body. This is from his book Method:
'More ideas are born from the first, originating idea, in the same way
that seeds germinate from a plant.'
'Events and images are the lively, spirit-stirring machinery of the
external world. They sustain the seed of the mind in the same way that
seeds without light, air and moisture would rot and die.'
'There are many paths we can take to pursue a methodical course. At the
head of each path is its own individual, guiding idea.'
As varied and eccentric as the paths are, the ideas they came from have
a logical order, and the paths progress in a rational sequence from
them. In modern times, the world has
suffered because we've subverted the natural
pg 38
and necessary order of Science by trying to test reason and faith with
the limited physical experience of science. But, by the true laws or
method, reason and faith don't owe any obedience to scientific process.'
Progress goes along the same path of the idea that it starts out from.
But it requires a constant mental diligence to stay on the path.
Therefore, the orbits of thought must be different from each other in
the same way that original ideas are different from each other.'
Plato's
Doctrine of Ideas
And this is the corollary and explanation for the law of unconscious
thought that results in the 'way we think,' which is what ultimately
shapes our character and rules our destiny. Thoughtful people see the
way that biological science is shedding new light on the laws of the
mind, and they see that these new discoveries are once again bringing
us back to Plato's doctrine. He said that 'an idea is a distinguishable
power. It affirms itself, and is in unity with the Eternal Essence.'
Nothing
But Ideas Matter in Education
This whole subject is profound, but it's also practical. We need to get
rid of the theory that education's function is mostly physical exercise
of the mental muscle. Perhaps in the early years it doesn't make much
apparent difference whether the parents see education as filling a
bucket, writing on a blank slate, molding soft clay, or nourishing a
life. But in the end, we'll discover that the child has only taken into
his being those ideas that
have fed his life. Everything else is thrown away, or, even worse,
becomes like dust that clogs the system and injures the vital
processes.
What
Our Educational Formula Should Be
Maybe this is the way the educational formula should
pg 39
go: Education is a life. That life is kept alive with ideas. Ideas
originate from a spiritual source, and
'God has made us in such a way'
that the most common way we get ideas is by passing them to each other.
The parents' duty is to sustain the child's inner life with ideas in
the same way that his physical body is sustained with food. Children
are eclectic. They might choose this, or they might choose that.
Therefore, 'sow your seed in the morning, and don't stop sowing in the
evening, because you don't know which seed will grow, this one or that
one--or maybe they'll both do well.'
Children are drawn to evil as well as to good, so we need to shelter
them from any evil ideas that might lodge in their minds by chance.
The initial idea spawns subsequent ideas. For that reason, we need to
be careful that children get the right initial ideas about the
important relationships and duties of life.
Every subject and every trail of thinking has its own 'guiding idea.'
Therefore, whatever a child studies will be living education depending
on how much the study is energized by the initial guiding idea at its
head.
What
is 'Infallible Reason'?
We boast a lot about 'infallible reason.' But infallible reason is
nothing more than the involuntary thought process following an initial
idea to its logical conclusion. If you have the initial starting idea,
the conclusion can be predicted with almost guaranteed certainty. We
get used to thinking certain kind of thoughts, and coming to certain
kinds of conclusions that are further and further removed from the
initial idea, but still follow along the same lines. There's a physical
change made in the brain tissue to accommodate the kind of thoughts we
think, like a rut for them to roll along in. And this shows how a life's
pg 40
destiny is shaped in the nursery. It's shaped by reverently speaking
God's name, or by flippantly scoffing at holy things, or by the thought
of duty that a little child gets when his mother makes him
conscientiously finish a task, or by the hardness of heart a child gets
when he hears the sorrows or faults of other people spoken of lightly.
pg 41
Chapter 5 - Parents as Inspirers: The
Things of the Spirit
Parents
are the Ones Who Reveal God to Their Children
Parents in general probably feel the weight of the responsibility of
their prophetic job more than ever before. Their role as revealers of
God to their children is where parents are most severely limited, yet
their success in this is what fulfills God's Divine intention in giving
children to them to bring up--in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
How
to Fortify Children Against Doubt
How do we fortify our children against the doubts that fill the air?
That's a worrisome question. We have three options. We can teach them
in the same old way that we ourselves were taught and let them take
their chances when it's their time. Or we can try to deal with each of
the difficult issues and doubts that have come up and that they're
likely to face in the future by offering them Christian dogma and
'proofs.' Or we can give them such a clear hold on vital truth, and
such a thorough perspective of current issues that they'll land on the
safe side of whatever controversies they come up against. They'll
recognize
truth in whatever new light it's presented in, and they'll be
safeguarded against mortal error.
Of
The Three Options, the First is Unfair
The first
pg 42
option (teach them in the same old way that we ourselves were taught
and let them take their chances) is unfair to our youth. When the
attack comes, they'll find themselves at a disadvantage. They'll have
no response. Their confidence will be shaken, and they'll conclude that
none of the truth they learned is useful as a defense. If it was,
wouldn't they have been taught how to use it? They'll resent being
proved wrong and being on the weaker, losing side--at least, that's how
it looks to them--and being behind the times. So they'll go over to the
side of the most aggressive current thinkers without a struggle.
'Evidence'
is Not Proof
Now let's suppose that they've been fortified with 'Christian evidence'
and defended with a wall of solid, dogmatic teaching. Religion without
definite authoritative teaching degenerates into sentiment, but dogma
for the sake of dogma offers no defense against the assaults of
unbelief. As far as 'evidences,' the proverb, 'He who excuses himself
accuses himself' [he who is
most vocal about his innocence is often the most guilty]
might be applied to the whole list of Christian
apologists. Whatever truth we live by needs to be self-evidenced,
requiring neither proof nor disproof. Children should learn Bible
history with whatever light modern research can shed. But they
shouldn't be taught to assume that evidences such as inscriptions on
Assyrian monuments are proofs
that the Bible is correct. They help to illustrate the Biblical record,
but they're only supplementary proofs, nothing more or less.
The
Outlook on Current Thought
How about the third option? Let's consider, first of all, the
perspective of current thought. Young
minds crave contemporary opinion. Young people are eager to know what
to think about the
serious questions regarding religion and life. They want to know what
pg 43
this or that influential person's opinion is. They don't confine
themselves to the leading people that their parents have decided are
worth listening to. On the contrary, the 'other side' of every issue is
the attractive side to them, and they don't want to be out of step with
cutting edge thought.
Free-will
In Thought
The fact that their youth should take so naturally to new ideas doesn't
need to come as a shock to parents. From the time their children are
tiny, their training should prepare them for this plunge that they'll
take.
When that time comes, there's no way to prevent it. Children may jump
into forming their own opinions openly, or, if their home is rigid,
they'll do it in secret. But, whether openly or secretly, young people
will think their own thoughts. They'll follow the leading of the people
they choose to admire because, after all, they're actually modest and
humble at heart and don't have the confidence to try thinking totally
by themselves. They still look to someone else, but their allegiance
switches from their parents. Parents don't need to resent or fear this
transferal of allegiance. We all do this when it's our time to move
towards independence and we feel the draw of other larger interests
outside our own family.
Preparation
But, even though there's nothing that can be done once the time comes,
there's so much that needs to be done beforehand. The notion that any
contemporary authority is infallible should be steadily undermined and
corrected from the time children are infants. This is done by
sacrificing some of the parents' convenience and glory. Instead of
giving our children a vague answer that makes us sound wise when they
fire off incessant questions, we shouldn't be afraid to admit that we
don't know. And our 'I don't know' should be followed with an effort to
find out by doing some research. And even in our research, our children
should understand that even books and websites can sometimes be wrong.
This kind of
pg 44
training will go a long way later towards the child's mental balance
and peace.
Reservations
in the Area of Science
Another safeguard is in what we might call reservation, especially
regarding 'science.' It's good to kindle a child's enthusiasm for
science as they see how glorious it is to devote a life to patiently
researching and observing, and how great it is to discover a single of
Nature's secrets that might be a key to unlocking many mysteries.
Children
should be allowed to admire the heroes of science, and great names,
especially of scientists who are still living, should be household
words. Yet some discrimination is appropriate. Two points should be
always be kept in mind. First, science can't answer the ultimate
questions of origin and life. And, second, scientific truth advances
steadily, with little waves of fact coming in and going out like the
ebb and flow of the tide so that, at any given moment, the last twenty
years' of scientific teaching is no longer valid in at least a dozen
fields of science. It seems like the wisest thing to do is to wait
fifty
years before drawing any conclusions about how today's discoveries fit
into the general scheme of things. This isn't because the latest
discoveries aren't true. But we have no way of adjusting it to the
'science of the proportion of things' to know its relative truth. [We may later find that it's only one piece
of the puzzle.]
Knowledge
is Progressive
But isn't all of this too much for children? Not at all. Every walk
should
excite their enthusiasm for the things of Nature, and their reverence
for the scientists who study them. But every opportunity should be
taken to note the progressive advances of science, and the fact that
today's teaching might be tomorrow's error
pg 45
because new light might lead to new conclusions regarding even the
facts we already know. 'Until recently, geologists used to think that;
now they think this, but they may discover reasons to think something
else in the future.' Children should understand that knowledge is progressive, and that the next
discovery might totally change what was thought before. We're still
waiting for the last word, and we'll probably be waiting for a long,
long time. Science itself is a 'revelation,' although we can't always
interpret what we find out. Science is a great opportunity for
spiritual
awareness. A person who recognizes these things can rejoice in all
truth and wait for final certainty.
Children
Should Learn Some Laws of Thought
There's another way that we can try to provide children with the
stability of mind that comes from knowing about themselves. They should
understand the laws of thought that direct their own minds while
they're still young enough that it seems like they've always known it.
Let them realize that, once an idea takes possession of them, it will
pursue its own course. It will establish its own path in the physical
tissue of the brain and draw its own chain of ideas behind it. One of
the most common reasons that young people abandon what they've been
taught is because thoughtful youths are shocked when they come to
notice their own thoughts. They read a book or listen to a lecture, and
experience what they think is 'free thought.' With fearful joy, they
discover their own thoughts taking off independently from what they've
heard or read, and going on and on to arrive at startling new
conclusions along the same lines. All of this mental stir inspires a
wonderful sense power as well as a sense of inevitableness and
certainty. After all, it isn't as if they
pg 46
had any intention of trying to think of this or that. The conclusion
came all by itself. They believe that their own Reason has acted
independently of them, and they can't help assuming that the conclusion
that came to them all by itself with such an air of absolute certainty
must be correct.
Inspecting
Thoughts as They Come
But what if they had been warned since early childhood, 'Take care of
your thoughts, and the rest will take care of itself. If you let a
thought in, it will stay. It will come back tomorrow and the next day.
It will make a place for itself in your brain, and it will bring many
other similar thoughts with it. It's up to you to inspect thoughts as
they come to keep wrong thoughts out and let right thoughts in. Make
sure that you don't enter into temptation.' This kind of teaching is
easier to understand than the grammar rules of the English nominative
case, but it's infinitely more profitable for managing a life. It's
great protection to recognize that our Reason is capable of proving any
theory that we allow ourselves to entertain.
The
Appeal of the Children
In this section, we've only mentioned the negative aspect of the
parental role of Inspirer. For almost all parents, the innocence of a
baby in its mother's arms makes a strong, irresistible appeal. 'Open
the gates of righteousness to me so I can go in,' seems to be
what the pure, unworldly child is saying. With every kiss from his
mother, and every light from his father's eyes, he expresses a desire
to be kept unstained from the world. But we're so quick to conclude
that children can't understand spiritual things. We don't fully grasp
the things of the Spirit ourselves, so how can the feeble intelligence
pg 47
of a child apprehend the highest mysteries of our existence? But we're
wrong about this. As we age, we adults become more materialistic. But
children live in the light of their young life. The spirit-world
doesn't seem so mysterious to them. In fact, the spiritual fairy-world
of parables and stories where anything is possible is their favorite
place. Fairy tales are so treasured by children because their tender
spirits clash with the hard, narrow limitations of reality--time, place
and substance. They can't breathe freely in the material world. Imagine
what the vision of God must be like for a child who's peering wistfully
through the bars of the prison of reality. They don't envision a
far-off God who's cold and abstract. For them, God is a warm,
breathing, spiritual Presence Who watches his comings and his goings
and stays with him as he sleeps. In God's presence, he recognizes
protection and tenderness in darkness and danger, and he rushes towards
God in the same way that a frightened child hides his face in his
mother's skirt.
'My
Hiding Place'
A friend of mine told me a story about something that happened when she
was a girl. She had extra lessons and had to stay at school until it
was dark every evening in the winter. She was a fearful child, but had
too much childish reserve to mention her fear of a vague 'something' to
her parents. The walk home took her along a solitary path beside a
river bank with trees overhead--big trees with masses of dark shadows.
Within those black shadows, any vague terror might be lurking. The swsh-sh, swsh-sh of the river
sounded like the rustling of someone's clothing, and that sound filled
her with relentless terror night after night. She fled along that river
path with a fast-beating heart. But, as quick as her running steps and
beating heart, these words kept repeating over and over in her mind the
whole way, evening after
pg 48
evening, winter after winter: 'You are my hiding place, You shall
preserve me from trouble, You shall surround me with songs of
deliverance.' Years later, as an adult who might have outgrown childish
fears, she found herself again walking alone in the darkness of early
evening one winter under different trees with the swsh-sh of another river. Her old
terror returned, but with it came back the old familiar words, keeping
time with her hasty steps the entire way. A safe refuge to hide in
should be the way every child thinks of God.
The
Mind of the Child is Like 'Good Ground'
Children's acute sensitivity to spiritual influences isn't due to their
ignorance. It's not them who are mistaken, it's us. Modern biological
thought tends to confirm what the Bible teaches. The ideas that quicken
come from heaven. The mind of a little child is like an open field,
like the 'good ground' where the sower sows his seed every morning, and
the seed is God's Word. Everything we teach to children should be
conveyed reverently, with the humble recognition that God has invited
us to co-operate with His Holy Spirit in this area. Our teaching should
also be given dutifully and diligently, sensing the responsibility that
our co-operation seems to be a condition of God's divine action. Jesus,
the Savior of the World, pleads with us to 'let the little children
come to Me,' as if it was within our ability to hinder them. And, as a
matter of fact, we know that we can hinder them.
Children
Suffer From a Deep-seated Discontent
This thought of Jesus, the Savior of the world, implies another concept
that we sometimes forget when we deal with children. Young faces
pg 49
aren't always cheerful and lovely. Even the happiest children in the
most fortunate situations can sometimes have clouded hearts. We
attribute their dark little moods to not feeling well, or the weather,
and that's often the case. But those are only secondary causes
revealing a deep-seated discontent. Children have a sense of their own
sin, to a greater or lesser degree, depending on their own sensitivity.
We put
too much trust in a rose-water treatment of children. We don't take
them seriously enough. When we find ourselves face to face with a
child, we discover that he's a very real person. But our educational
theories define him as 'something in between a wax doll and an angel.'
The truth is, he sins. He can be guilty of greed, lying, hatred,
cruelty, or a hundred other faults that would be repulsive in an adult.
We tend to excuse children and assume that they'll grow out of it and
know better eventually. But they'll never know better than they do
right
now. Children are painfully aware of their own odiousness. How many of
us, if we were truthful, would say about ourselves as children, 'I was
a horrid little thing!' And that's not just because we look back on our
faults through the mature eyes of adulthood. We remember that that's
the way we
thought of ourselves even then. Many bright, cheerful children think of
themselves as hateful, and the assurance of 'peace, peace, when there
is no peace' from loving parents and friends doesn't bring comfort.
It's
good for us to 'ask for the old paths, and find out where the good way
is.' But it's no help at all if, in the name of old paths, we lead our
children into blind alleys. It's no better to let them follow new paths
into bewildering mazes.
pg 50
Chapter 6 - Parents as Inspirers: Primal
Ideas Derived from Parents
'One little boy was observing the scene. It was savage and inhuman,
unlike anything he had ever seen before. He nestled close to his mother
and asked with bated breath, 'Mama, is there a God here?'--adapted from John Burroughs
The
Main Thing We Have to Do
The last chapter introduced parents to the concept of their highest
function--that of revealing God to their children. Without a doubt, the
most important thing we have to do in this world is to bring the human
race out of the savage, inhuman desolation where God is not, and into
the light and warmth and comfort of God, family by family, one child at
a time. This individual task with each child is the most momentous work
in the world. It's entrusted to the wisest, most loving, disciplined,
and divinely taught people of all: parents. 'Be ye perfect as your Father is perfect,' is the
perfection of parenthood. Perhaps this kind of perfection can only be
fully attained through parenthood. Some parents are misguided, or
ignorant or even indifferent. One in a thousand is callous. Yet, the
good that's done
pg 51
on earth is accomplished under God by parents, whether directly or
indirectly.
Concepts
of God that are Appropriate for Children
The tools that this great work is done with are the ideas that can be
introduced into children's minds. Parents who recognize this will be
very concerned about which ideas of God are the most appropriate for
children, and how to best convey those ideas. Let's take a look at one
current idea that's causing some stir in people's thoughts.
'We
Should Work Up Slowly Through the Human Side'--Why Not?
'We read some of the Old Testament as 'the history of the Jews,' and we
read Job, Isaiah and Psalms as poetry. I'm happy to say that he likes
them very much. We read some parts of the Gospels in Greek, enjoying
them as the life and character of a hero. It's a huge mistake to impose
the authority and divinity of these stories on children all at once. It
makes them lose interest. Instead, we should work up slowly through the
human side.' (from Memoirs of Arthur
Hamilton, Messrs Kegan Paul and Co.)
This theory sounds good to a lot of people because it's 'so
reasonable.' But it assumes that we're ruled by Reason, and that our
Reason is infallible and certain. If we just leave it alone to do its
work, it
will bring us to fair and just conclusions. The fact is, that function
of the mind that we call reasoning--we shouldn't call it The
Reason--actually does bring us to inevitable conclusions. The process
is definite, and the result is convincing. But whether that conclusion
is right or not depends totally on the initial idea. When we want to
discredit this initial idea, we call it a prejudice. When we want to
exalt it, we call it an
pg 52
intuition, or even an inspiration. It would be a waste of time to try
to illustrate this. The whole history of Error is full of logical
outcomes of
what we like to call misconceptions. The history of Persecution is the
tale of how inevitable conclusions arrived at through reasoning are
mistaken for truth. Christ's death on Calvary wasn't due to an
impulsive, mad outburst of mob sentiment. It was a triumph of
reasoning. It was the inevitable result of a series of logical
sequences. If what's reasonable is what's right, then the Crucifixion
wasn't a crime, but something to applaud. And that's why the hearts of
religious Jews were so hardened and why their understanding was so
darkened. They were sincerely doing what seemed right in their own eyes. It's
exhilarating to observe the thoughts inside us compelling us towards an
inevitable conclusion, even against our will. If the final conclusion
forms itself even in spite of ourselves, how can it not be right?
Logical
Certainty and Moral Right: Conscientious Jews and the Crucifixion
Let's put ourselves in the place of a logical and conscientious Jew
just for a minute: 'The name of 'Jehovah' is a name of awe,
unapproachable in thought or action except in ways that God Himself has
specified. To approach His name unlawfully is blasphemy. Because
Jehovah
is so infinitely great, any presumptuous offense is infinitely heinous.
It's criminal. It's the final sin that can be committed against God Who
is First. The blasphemer deserves to die for making himself equal with
God, Who is unapproachable. A blasphemer is as arrogant as Beelzebub.
He's doubly worthy of death. God's honored Name is entrusted to us
Jews, and it's our job to
pg 53
get rid of the blasphemer. Therefore, the man must die.' And that's why
their poisonous hatred hounded every step that Jesus took during His
blameless Life. These men were following what their reasoning told
them. They were sure that they knew
they were doing the right thing. And that became an invincible
ignorance that even the Light of the world couldn't illuminate.
Therefore, He
'Who knows us as we are,
Yet loves us better than He knows,'
offered their true excuse: 'They know not what they're doing.' Once an
argument is set in motion, its steps are absolutely incontestable. The
fatal flaw is in the initial idea--a concept of Jehovah that made even
the possibility of Christ impossible and inadmissible.
The
Patriotic Jew and the Crucifixion
That's the way the Jews whose religion was their first priority
reasoned. But patriotic Jews, who put their hopes for their nation even
ahead of their religion, came to a totally different inevitable
conclusion following a sequence of arguments just as incontestable:
'The Jews are God's chosen people. A Jew's first obligation is to his
nation. These are critical times. A great hope is before us, but we're
in the power of Rome. The Romans might crush out our national life
before our hope is realized. We need to make sure that we don't do
anything to make them suspicious. What about this Man, Jesus? He seems
to be harmless, he might even be righteous. But he stirs up the people.
They say that he's even called the King of the Jews. He must not be
allowed to ruin the hope of the Jews. He needs to die. It's better for
one man to die for the rest of the people so that the entire nation
doesn't perish.' And, thus, the most criminal act that was ever
committed on
the earth was probably done without any consciousness of
pg 54
doing anything wrong. In fact, the psuedo-moral sense that approves of
all reasonable actions was
totally acquitted. The Crucifixion was the logical and necessary result
of ideas that the persecuting Jews had absorbed since their infancy.
That's the way it is with all persecution. It never originates because
of a specific occasion, but comes from habits that were formed over an
entire lifetime.
A
Child's Earliest Ideas Come from the Parents
The first impulses to habits of thought that children receive come from
their
parents. Since the way a person thinks and acts towards God is
'The very heartbeat of what he is,'
the introduction of the kind of earliest ideas that will draw the
child's soul to God is the most important and highest duty that parents
have. If a man is guilty of any kind of sin of unbelief, are his
parents totally blameless?
First
Approaches to God
Let's look at what's commonly done with most children in this area. As
soon as the child can lisp out his first words, he's taught to kneel in
his mother's lap and say, 'God bless . . .' and ask God's blessings for
a list of all those who are near and dear to him, and then, 'God bless
me and make me a good boy for Jesus' sake. Amen.' It's touching and
beautiful. One time I peeked in an open door of a cottage in a
village in the moors and I saw a little child in his pajamas kneeling
in his mother's lap and saying his evening prayer. That spot has
remained like a kind of shrine in my mind. There's nothing more
touching and tender to see. Later, when a child can say the words,
'Gentle Jesus, meek and mild'
is added to his prayer, and still later, 'Our Father.' There's nothing
more appropriate and more
pg 55
beautiful than these morning and evening visits with God as the little
ones are brought to Him by their mothers. Most of us can think back to
the sanctifying influence of those early prayer experiences. But
couldn't more be done? How many times in the course of a day does a
mother lift her heart to God as she goes about her daily routine with
her children, and they never know? One mother of a boy and girl aged
four and five said, 'Today I talked with them about Rebekah at the
well. They were both very interested, especially the part about Eliezer
praying in his heart and the answer coming immediately. They asked,
'how did he pray?' and I said, 'I often pray in my heart when you don't
know it. Sometimes I see you begin to show a naughty spirit, so I pray
for you in my heart, and almost immediately, I find that the good
spirit comes. Your faces show that my prayer was answered.' My daughter
stroked my hand and said, 'Dear Mama, I'll try to think about that.' My
son looked thoughtful, but he didn't say anything. Later, when they
were in bed, I knelt down to pray for them before leaving the room.
When I got up, my son said, 'Mama, God filled my heart with goodness
while you prayed for us, and, Mama, I will
try tomorrow.'
Praying
Out Loud In Front of Our Children
Might it be possible for the mother, when she's alone with her
children, to sometimes pray out loud so that her children will grow up
with a sense of God's presence? It would probably be difficult for some
mothers to break down the reserve of their spiritual relationship with
God even with their own children. But, if it could be done, wouldn't it
lead to joyful, natural living in the presence of God because His
presence would be recognized?
A
Child's Gratitude
One mother remembered how much she had loved an inexpensive bottle of
perfume when she was young. So she
pg 56
brought home three little bottles of perfume for her own three little
girls. She presented them at breakfast the next morning and the girls
enjoyed them during the whole meal. Before breakfast was over, the
mother
was called away. Little M-- was sitting with her bottle and what was
left of her breakfast, lost in her thoughts. Out of the pure wellspring
of heart, she murmured, to nobody in particular, 'Dear Mother, you are too good!' Imagine the joy of a
mother who should overhear her little child murmur upon seeing the
first primrose of the season, 'Dear God, you are too good!' Children are little
mimics. If they hear their parents continually expressing their joys,
concerns, thanks and wishes, then they'll also have many things to say
themselves.
Another point related to this--little German children hear and speak of
der liebe Gott [the dear God] many times during the
day. They address God with the familiar form of 'du,' but 'du' is part
of their everyday speech. All those who are dear to them in their
intimate circle are addressed with 'du.' It's the same with French
children. Their thoughts and words are of le bon Dieu [the good God]. They also address
God with the familiar form of 'tu,' but that's how they always speak to
those who are most near and dear to them.
Archaic
Language in Children's Prayers
But that's not the case for little English children. They're alienated
with an archaic form of address that sounds reverent to us older
people, but must seem forbidding to a little child. Imagine what a
benefit it would be if the Lord's Prayer could be translated into
reverent but modern language! [perhaps
Charlotte Mason would have approved of the Lord's Prayer, Matt 6:9-13,
in the New
Century Version?] To those of us who have learned to analyze
it, the KJV is dear, almost sacred. But we should never forget that,
after all, it's only a translation, and is probably the most archaic
bit of English still in use. The phrase 'which art' [or 'who art' to Catholics]
sounds like
pg 57
'chart,' which is meaningless to a child. 'Hallowed' sounds like a
foreign language to him; even to us it sounds odd. 'Trespasses' is
mostly a legal term that he never hears in his regular daily speech.
And no amount of explaining can make 'Thy' have the same kind of
meaning as 'your.' Making a child express his prayers in a
strange language puts a barrier between him and his 'Almighty Lover.'
Can't we try to teach our children to say, 'Dear God'? Surely no one
knows better than a parent that an austere, reverent style of speech
can never be as sweet in God's ears as the appeal to 'dear God' that
flows naturally from a child who's 'used to God' when he wants to
include his heavenly Father in his joy and plead for help in trouble.
If children are allowed to grow up in the awareness of the constant,
immediate, joy-giving, joy-taking Presence in the midst of them, then
there won't be any need to worry about attempts to draw the child away
from God. The threat of infidelity is foolishness to anyone who knows
God in the same way he knows father, mother, wife or child--or even
better.
'The
Shout of a King'
Children should also grow up with the shout of a King in their midst.
Within our faulty human nature are fountains of loyalty, worship,
passionate devotion, and cheerful service that unfortunately need to be
unsealed from within the dirt-filled hearts of us adults, but only need
a reason to flow from a child's heart. There's nothing more secure and
more gratifying than being under orders--than being possessed,
controlled and continually in the service of One Who is a joy to obey.
In our modern society, we've lost sight of the fact that a king or
leader implies warfare with an enemy, and victory--or possible defeat
and disgrace. It's never too soon for children to learn this concept of
life.
pg 58
Christ's
Fight Against the Devil
'I've thought it over carefully and I've decided that the best I can do
is to give you my perspective of what an average boy carried away from
our Rugby School fifty years ago that was the most beneficial, the most
valuable, later in life . . . I haven't been sure what to put first and
I'm not sure my team mates who are still living would agree with me.
But, speaking for myself, I think that the thing that most
distinguished us was the sense that in school and on the field, we were
training for a big fight that would last all our lives. In fact, we
were already involved in it. This fight would test all of our powers to
the utmost--all of our physical, intellectual, and moral powers. I
don't need to say that this fight was the age-old battle of good
against evil, light and truth against darkness and sin, Christ against
the devil.'
That's what the author of Tom
Brown's School Days [Thomas Hughes]
said when he addressed Rugby School on a recent Quinquagesima Sunday.
He's right--education is only really education when it teaches this
lesson, and this is a lesson that should be learned at home before the
child begins any other life lessons. It's an insult to children to say
that they're too young to understand this, which is the reason we're
sent into the world.
'It's
So Hard to Do God's Work!'
A five year old little boy, the great-grandson of Dr. Arnold, was
sitting at the piano with his mother choosing his Sunday hymn. He
picked 'Thy Will Be Done,' and, more specifically, his favorite verse
which begins 'Renew my will from day to day.' His mother was puzzled at
his choice of this song and verse until she got a further glimpse into
his child-thoughts when he explained
pg 59
by saying wistfully, 'It's so hard to do God's work!' He still didn't
understand the difference between doing and bearing, but the battle and
struggle and strain of life had already made an impression on the
spirit of this 'careless, happy child,' as we so often think of
children. The fact that an evil spiritual personality can get at their
thoughts and tempt them to be naughty is something they learn all too
soon, and understand perhaps even better than we do. Sometimes they're
grouchy, naughty, separate, sinful. They need to be healed as much as
the most hardened sinner, and they're much more aware of it because
their soul is like an infant's tender skin and chafes with any
spiritual soreness. 'It's so good of God to forgive me so often. I've
been naughty so many times today,' said one sad little six-year-old
sinner, and not because someone had been after her pointing out her
naughtiness. Even 'Pet Marjorie's' [Marjorie Fleming]
cheerfulness didn't shield her from this sad sense of falling short:
'Yesterday I was so bad in God's holy church. I wouldn't pay attention,
and I wouldn't let Isabella pay attention. . . and it was the same
Devil tempting me that tempted Job, I'm sure. But he resisted Satan
even though he had boils and all kinds of other misfortunes that I've
escaped.' And she wrote this at six!
We can't help smiling at these little 'crimes,' but we shouldn't smile
too much and let children be depressed about their naughtiness.
Instead, they should live in the instant healing forgiveness, and in
the dear Name of the Savior of the World.
pg 60
Chapter 7 - The Parent as Teacher
'The
Teacher'll Straighten Him Out!'
'Straighten him out' apparently means 'make him come when he's called,'
because
this comment was made about a child who kept playing with his toy
nonchalantly, ignoring his mother as she nagged at him because she had
decided it was bedtime. The circumstances are different in every case,
but it's not unusual in the upper classes of society for a parent to
put trust in the teacher to make a child straighten up after years of
mental and moral sprawling at home.
Reasons
Why This Task is Left to the Teacher
'Oh, he's just little; he'll outgrow it when he's older.'
'My opinion is that children should be allowed to have a stress-free
childhood. There's time enough for rules and restraint when he starts
school.'
'We don't believe in punishing children. Just love them and let them be
is our motto.'
'They'll have enough limit and stress when they have to face the world.
Childhood shouldn't have any unpleasant memories associated with it.'
'School will break them in. Let them grow up as natural and wild as
young colts until it's time to break them. All young things should be
free to kick and run.'
'Whatever traits they inherited are going to be part of their
pg 61
character, anyway. I don't see any sense in all this training and
shaping of children. It destroys all of their individuality.'
'He'll know better when he's older. Time cures lots of faults.'
And so on. We could fill pages with the wise-sounding things people say
who, for one reason or another, prefer to leave it up to the teacher to
straighten out a child. And does the teacher live up to his reputation?
How much success does he have with a child who comes to him with a
total lack of disciplined self-management? His real and proud successes
are with those children who were already trained at home before they
ever got to school. Teachers take a lot of pleasure in such children.
They take unlimited time with them. They're able to get them started in
successful careers that exceed the ambitions of even the most
ambitious people--quiet, sensible, matter-of-fact parents. But the
teacher doesn't take all the credit for such successful results.
Teachers tend to be a modest lot whose virtues aren't always recognized.
A
Teacher's Successes Are With Children Who Have Been Trained at Home
'You can do anything with So-and-so. His parents have disciplined him
so well.' Notice that the teacher does