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Charlotte Mason in Modern English
Charlotte Mason's ideas are too important not to be understood and implemented in the 21st century, but her Victorian style of writing sometimes prevents parents from attempting to read her books. This is an imperfect attempt to make Charlotte's words accessible to modern parents. You may read these, print them out, share them freely--but they are copyrighted to me, so please don't post or publish them without asking.
~L. N. Laurio
pg
25
Chapter 3 - Masterly Inactivity
Increased
Sense of Responsibility
It would be interesting if an expert in literature could trace how the
word 'responsibility' symbolized ethical thought throughout the last
few decades. In the 1850's and 60's, people were very responsible, even
children. But their responsibility was for their own character, action
and manners. We don't seem to be as responsible these days. We tend to
accept that we're the way we are, and to make allowances for our own
little peculiarities and idiosyncrasies. We sometimes lack the gift of
humor that should give us the ability,
'To see ourselves the way others see us.'
A
Sign of Moral Progress
We may take ourselves lightly, but we tend to be harder on ourselves
when it comes to our obligations to others. We still have a weight of
responsibility that feels as 'heavy as frost,' but we've shifted it
from one shoulder to the other. Those of us who are more serious by
nature can become downright burdened with our sense of obligation about
what we owe to people near and far away. Men can be less troubled by
the weight than women because most of them
pg 26
have jobs where each day has its own work that needs to be done, and
that keeps them busy. But women have more time to think about their
relationships and the duties related to them. It's an interesting
commentary on our times that the modern scholars who translated Matt
6:25 phrased it as, 'Don't be anxious for your life,' instead of the
old translation. ['take no thought
for your life']. Women may feel the daily constant wear of
responsibility for others more unceasingly than men, but if a man hears
about some urgent crisis, such as the conditions in the slums of East
London, or Home Rule, or the recent massacres in Armenia, he'll feel it
more intensely and passionately. This sharpened sensitivity isn't a
weakness of our modern era, it's just a sign of the times.
Those of us who feel like life itself is an education because we never
stop learning are encouraged to see this general sense of
responsibility for others. It seems to show that we really are
receiving some direction from God, and that we're making progress.
Parental
Responsibility
It's good if we feel empathy for people who are distressed, suffering,
sick, mentally ill, handicapped, uneducated, or spiritually lost. If
only we all felt the burden of the lost more! Yet thinking people feel
one particular responsibility with even more acute awareness--and
that's the heavy responsibility for their own offspring. Parental
responsibility is the big issue in educational discussions these days.
People believe that it's possible to bring up their children to be even
better people than they are themselves, and, knowing this, they feel
that they have an obligation and a duty to do that. In fact, the
success of the PNEU is the result of parents who feel a keen sense of
their responsibility to their children.
Anxiety
Marks Every Transitional Stage
Every step of progress, whether it's mechanical or spiritual, takes a
time of adjustment before it can be fully used. In the arena of
science, there's always a long period of time between
Pg 27
the moment when a new discovery is made, such as the X-Ray and the
time when the world can enjoy its practical application with all of its
benefits and without it displacing other things that are just as
necessary. For instance, we should be suspicious of any claim that
x-ray technology can do everything that a stethoscope, thermometer and
any other equipment can do. It's the same way in the moral sphere. The
weight of responsibility we feel comes from our newly aroused feelings
of high-minded charity. It makes us able to feel more love for more
people. We have more of the Holy Spirit's agape love in us, even if we
don't realize that our greater love comes from God. But knowing that we
need to do much more, and knowing what to do and how to do it,
are two different things. Rather than adding to our fullness and joy in
life, it frustrates us. We become worried, anxious and restless. [This sounds typical of new
homeschoolers who feel compelled to homeschool, but don't know how to
do it!] There's a transition time between the learning
curve where the how's and why's are acquired and fine-tuned, and the
time when the process is actually working and we're happier and more
useful.
A
Fussy and Restless Habit
I want to address this gap of time during the transition by presenting
the concept of 'masterly inactivity' to parents and teachers. There are
so many things that we should do for our children, and so much that's
possible to provide for them, that we can start to think that
everything rests with us. We begin to feel like we can't let up even
for a minute in our conscious thinking about our efforts in training up
our children's young minds and hearts. As a result, our efforts become
over-controlling and micro-managed. We're with our children every
minute of the day, always on their backs. Even when we can't get them
to comply, we try to dominate them too much. We don't realize that wise
pg 28
deliberate letting
alone is the best part of education. The defect that makes us
take too much on ourselves isn't serious. We just need to make a few
adjustments, and that's what I'm going to discuss.
'Masterly
Inactivity'
[Apparently, 'masterly inactivity'
was a term used in CM's time to describe a 'wait and see' attitude by
legislators in response to political incidents, or, as one
British letter puts it, 'trusting
to the helping influences of time.']
It's a blessing that our minds are made so that, once we receive an
idea, it will work itself out in our mind and actions without too much
after-effort from us. If we allow the concept of 'masterly inactivity'
as an aspect of education, we'll find ourselves relating with children
from this standpoint without even consciously thinking about it. But we
need to have an accurate idea of what we mean when we say 'masterly
inactivity.' The phrase used by Carlyle has nothing to do with the
attitude of, 'who cares?' or 'why bother?' and it has even less to do
with the sheer neglect that just lets things happen because it's too
much trouble to take any action to influence the outcome. 'Masterly
inactivity' indicates an exquisitely capable moral attitude, and it's
worth our time to analyze it. The concept is perhaps most accurately
phrased in Wordsworth's words: 'wise passiveness.' It suggests the
ability and authority to take action, a concern for the outcome, with
the insight and restraint that keeps a person from interfering. But,
for our purposes, the phrase conveys one more idea. It isn't just that
we're restraining ourselves from direct involvement, there's also a
sense of our authority that our children need to be aware of whether
we're giving them a command or not. The sense of authority is the
foundation of the parental relationship. If our children don't respect
our authority, then I doubt that either our direct involvement or our
inactivity will do much good. This element of strength
pg 29
is the backbone on which our position as parents rests. 'We couldn't
even if we wanted to,' and the children know it. They're free under
authority, which is liberty. To be free without any authority is
license.
Good-Naturedness
The next element of masterly inactivity is a sense of
agreeability--candid, friendly, natural, good-natured ease. This is
very different from lack of concern or a general giving in to childen's
every whim. One comes from a foundation of strength; the other from
weakness. Children are good at spotting the difference! 'Please, Mom,
can't we pick blackberries this afternoon instead of doing school?' A
masterly 'yes,' and a defeated 'yes' are two different things. The
first makes the break doubly enjoyable, but the second creates a
restless desire to see what else can be gotten away with.
Self-Confidence
The next element is confidence. Parents should have more faith in
themselves. It doesn't take a whirlwind of restless activity to get
things accomplished. The mere presence of a proper parental
relationship, with the rightful authority that goes along with it, is
to the children what sunshine and water are to seeds in fertile soil.
But a parent who's picky, anxious, constantly explaining, demanding,
making excuses, over-restraining, too interfering, or who is simply
with the children too much, destroys the dignity and simplicity of the
parent/child relationship. Like all of the best and most delicate
things in life, that relationship suffers if it has to be asserted or
defended.
The
Casual, Easy Attitude of Fathers
Fathers are often more comfortable than mothers assuming that casual,
easy attitude with their children that comes
pg 30
with their relationship. But that's just because fathers tend to be
preoccupied with so many outside things, while the mother is often
wrapped up in her children. It shames all of us to see a careless,
selfish mother whose children are her personal slaves and are happy
rushing around to serve her whims. The point isn't that mothers
shouldn't be careless and selfish, but that they should provide their
children with the space and freedom that come from letting them alone.
Young people shouldn't be oppressed with the concerns and worries of
their parents. A ten-year-old who wants to know if she's performing as
well as average ten-year-olds, or who discusses his bad habits with you
and asks for suggestions to get rid of them is a cause for concern. We
instinctively feel that such a child is worried about things that
should be the parent's concern. The burden of a child's training is the
parent's responsibility, but the parent should bear it with an easy
grace and erect posture, like a Spanish peasant carrying a water-jug.
Confidence
in Their Children
The next element is that parents should have confidence, not only in
themselves, but in their children. This should be a goal for them to
try to live up to. If the parent trusts in the relationship between
them and the child, the child will believe in it, too, and rise to the
occasion to fulfill his part. This will happen if the children aren't
worried [flustered and over-burdened
with too many
demands].
The
All-Knowing Wisdom of Parents and Teachers
Parents and teachers must, of course, be omniscient. Their children
expect them to be. A mother or father who can be fooled is a person
who's easy to be taken in, even in the mind of the best child. Children
are always playing a game of half chance, half
pg 31
skill, to see how far they can go, how much control they can get of
their own lives, and how much they have to leave in the hands of the
stronger authority. A mother who isn't wise to her children is at their
mercy, and shouldn't expect them to go easy on her. But her omniscience
must be the kind that sees without watching, knows without telling, is
always on the alert without being obvious about it. Her attitude must
be open-eyed, but calm like a sphinx. The children should know that
they've been left alone, whether it's to do their assigned duty, or to
amuse themselves. The constraining power of authority must be
ever-present, but passive so that the child doesn't feel like he's
confined against his will. The pattern and role model is man's free
will. For ages and ages, having a free will has been good exercise for
faithful souls who would have preferred the easy way out by being
coerced into obedience and righteousness. A child who behaves because
he isn't given any other choice will lose more in his ability to
have initiative than he'll ever gain with the appearance of good
behavior. Every time that a child feels like he's behaving because he
made a free choice of his own accord, his initiative is strengthened.
Parents must not control children with bearing reins [or, with a short leash]. When it
occurs to
a child to reflect on his own actions and behavior, he should have
enough of a sense of freedom that his good behavior feels like
something that was his own choice and preference.
'Fate'
and 'Freewill'
This is the kind of freedom that a child has when his parents trust him
as far as his comings and goings and his childhood activities, all the
time within the bounds of parental authority. Such a child is getting
the training that a person needs as a being whose life is conditioned
by 'fate' and 'freewill.' His liberty has a sense of 'must'
behind it. That relieves him of the kind of anxiety that
pg 32
comes from the constant stress of having to make decisions. He's free
to do what he should, but in his deepest heart, he knows very well that
he's not free to do what he shouldn't. But the child who grows up with
no strong sense of authority behind what he does, who hears over and
over again to 'be good,' is aware that he can choose good or evil, he
can decide to obey or not, he can tell the truth or he can lie. Even
when he chooses to do the right thing, the decision-making process
itself causes him some stress. His parents have removed the support of
their authority, which is supposed to sustain him in the difficult
choice to do
right, so he's left all alone in the most difficult effort of all--the
effort of decision. Is it too subtle a distinction, the difference
between freedom to choose the right thing by one's own choice, but not
being free to choose to do wrong? Is that difference too elusive to
grasp? Maybe, but it's the very distinction that we ourselves are aware
of in our own lives when we consciously keep ourselves under God's
Kingship. We're free to walk in the ways of righteous living, and we
have the delightful sense of liberty to choose--yet we know that the
way of the transgressor is hard. We're aware of a restraining hand in
the here and now, and we know that there's sure, certain punishment in
the
future. This is precisely the subtle distinction that we need to aim
for with our own child. He needs to be treated with full confidence,
and he must feel like choosing the right thing is his own free choice
that his parents trust him to make. But he must also be aware of a
deterring force in the background that's always alert and ready to
hinder him
when he wants to makes the wrong choice.
The
Component Parts of Masterly Inactivity
We've listed authority, cheerfulness, self-confidence,
pg 33
confidence in our children, as some of the elements of masterly
inactivity. But there are other components that have to be there, too.
A healthy, sound mind and body is necessary. If a sound body is
impossible, then get the mind sound. A nervous, anxious, worried mother
can't have an easy, happy relationship with her child. She might be the
best mother in the world in all other respects, but all her children
will pick up from her when she's like that is a touch of her nerves,
which is the most contagious of bad habits. She'll perceive her
children as grouchy, rebellious, and unmanageable, but she won't
realize that it's her own fault--not the fault of her actions, but the
fault of her mood.
The
Serenity of a Madonna
There's a reason why the old painters, no matter how different their
ideas about other matters might have been, all had the same idea about
the proper role model for a Mother. The Madonna, no matter whose
painting you look at, is always serene. This is a great truth. If
seeing this lesson with the eyes would have a calming influence on the
heart, then it would be worthwhile to hang our walls with Madonnas from
all the early Master painters! Does this seem unattainable for mothers
in these anxious, stressful days? It may seem hard, but it's not
impossible. If mothers would learn to do for themselves what they do
for their children when they're over-stimulated, households would all
be happier. Let the mother go out to play! She should have the courage
to let everything go when life becomes too stressful, and just take a
day, or even a half day, alone, to go out into the fields, or enjoy a
favorite book, or go to the art gallery and gaze long and intensely at
just two or three pictures, or relax in bed, without the children. Life would go
on more smoothly
pg 34
for both parents and children. The mother would be more able to have
the attitude of 'wise passiveness,' and she wouldn't frustrate her
children with her continual interference, even if her involvement is
only with her hand or eye. Instead, she'd just let them be.
Leisure
Another necessary element is leisure. Sometimes we're in a hurry
because of events. But, we have to admit, sometimes we're hurried
simply because we enjoy the excitement of a bit of a rush. The children
like it, too, at first--Dad's birthday is coming and Nicole must recite
a poem for him, but the little performance was only thought of a week
in advance, so Nicole is summoned at all sorts of random moments to
have some lines of the poem crammed into her. At first, she's pleased
to have so much attention, and enjoys the task of memorizing. But
gradually, it starts to become a nuisance. She starts to resist and
gets sulky about it. She's reprimanded for not loving her father,
tearfully learns her verses, and although she finally delivers the
performance charmingly enough, Nicole has suffered physically and
morally. Yet if the project had been thought of a month earlier, the
whole process could have been healthy and fun. It's even worse for
children after their mother or teacher has had a busy day. Company is
coming for dinner, or the family's summer clothes need to be taken care
of, or drawers and cabinets need to be cleaned out, or there's a test
coming. It's one of those busy, fussy days that women tend to love. We
try to do more than we can really handle ourselves, our nerves are on
end, we're tired, and, with all the stress, everyone in the school or
house feels uncomfortable because of the pressure. The children seem to
take advantage of this stress to act up. The truth is, their mother's
mood has affected them and made them whiny and annoying. The result of
the mother's bottled nervous stress will probably be tantrums in the
children's room.
pg 35
Idle time to relax, and a sense of calm leisure in the adults around
them is as necessary to children as the strong, kind parental attitude
I'm talking about.
Faith
There are more ingredients in the recipe of 'masterly inactivity,' but
I only have space to list one more. The highest form of confidence is
what we know as faith. There can't be full rest and peace of mind and
behavior without it. We need to recognize and remember that God doesn't
leave the training totally up to their parents. He Himself works in
ways that it's not our place to hinder. He helps the training of every
child. When we understand this, then we'll learn passiveness, humility
and wisdom. We'll feel better about giving children space to develop
their own character in their own individual way, and we'll know the
best way to intervene effectively to prevent the bad tendencies that
their particular character is prone to.
Next, we'll consider some of the different phases of children's lives
that need some 'masterly inactivity' from their parents and teachers.
Paraphrased by L. N. Laurio
Please direct any comments or questions to me by emailing me at cmseries-owner at yahoogroups dot com.
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