The Virtue of Truth.
by The Rev. Professor J. Radford Thomson, M.A.
Volume 11, 1900, pgs. 616-621
(Continued from pg. 383.)
Part II.
IV. Why children are sometimes wanting in Truthfulness.
It often happens that parents are surprised and shocked when they discover that their children are not always perfectly truthful. Children brought up by parents who are scrupulously truthful, and who inculcate truthfulness upon all the members of the family, are, I think, unduly distressed when they find their children telling lies. It may be well to consider how this comes to pass. Several explanations may be given which may account for the failure of children to speak the truth.
The explanations given, in some cases, apply to deliberate and intentional lying; and, in other cases, to departures from truth which do not deserve to be so harshly characterized.
A lively imagination, amounting in some cases to positive illusion, accounts for the falsehoods to which children of a certain type are addicted. It seems certain that these young minds cannot, or do not, distinguish between what they suppose, or what they wish, and what has really taken place. It is well-known that there are adults, sometimes clever and (on the whole) good people, who are given to "romancing," whose lively fancy encourages them to believe, for instance, that they have been to places which they have never really visited, seen persons whom they have never really met, passed through experiences to which they are certainly absolutely strangers. Vanity accounts for much of this deception. No one can relate to such persons anything remarkable that has happened, but they will, if the expression may be allowed, "go one better!"
Bacon, in his Essay on Truth, says that "a mixture of a lie doth ever add pleasure." Certain it is that there are children who invent, and in relating their inventions, desire that they should be believed--that is, intend to deceive. The motive may probably be conceit as to their own importance; and it may be simply delight in the exercise of their own imagination.
Exaggeration is not necessarily falsehood; but there is a kind of exaggeration which is inconsistent with truthfulness. It may be admitted that children sometimes exaggerate, because they do not know the meaning of the words they employ. Probably, they copy habits of speech from those about them, and are less to blame than their parents and nurses. Children, like savages and primitive peoples, have misty notions of numbers. The little boy who boasted that he had seen the Lord Mayor's show hundreds of times, can hardly be acquitted of falsehood; and the girl who supposed her father to be a hundred years old was not strictly veracious. But we may say poetically that the waves of a stormy sea were mountains high, or that a moonlight night was as bright as day; and this without the intention or the possibility of deceiving. And even monstrous exaggeration of statement on the part of children may be excused, if it be, as it often is, imitative of rhetorical or imaginative parents. Perhaps the worst form of exaggeration of which children are guilty is when, under the influence of passionate hatred, they describe the conduct of companions and play-fellows as far worse than it really is, attributing to them violence or cruelty of an enormity altogether imaginary.
It cannot be doubted that the chief cause of serious and deliberate falsehood on the part of children is fear. A careful observer will find that, when children lie, it is almost always with a view to evade the anger of parent, nurse, schoolmaster or schoolmistress; and to escape the punishment due to some offence. The child who has broken a known rule is aware that authority will not tolerate disobedience or rebellion. He may not hate the act of wrong-doing, but he dreads the consequences, the frown, the sharp rebuke, the rod, the privation of pleasure. It appears to him that the readiest way of escape is a falsehood, the denial of the offence, the casting of blame upon another, or the false and sneaking plea of ignorance of the rule that has been broken.
The habit of falsehood my often be traced to imitation. "Evil communications corrupt good manners." Children learn evil, as well as good, from one another. A boy or girl, who has been reared--so to speak--in the very atmosphere of truth, in a pure and pious home, is sent to school, and plunged into the probation of life. Schoolfellows laugh at the scruples of the ingenuous and transparent child, and set an example of deceit mendacity. In some cases, such influence succeeds to removing scruples and destroying principles; and, for a time, the character is corrupted, and bad habits sway the life. Lies are spoken of as "crams" and "fibs," or are extenuated as "white" and therefore harmless and justifiable.
V. In what ways may the habit of falsehood be checked, and the habits of truthfulness be formed?
We must now turn to the practical part of the subject. What can be done to deter children from falsehood, and to cultivate in them the habit of truthfulness? None of us can wish to have liars in our families; yet many virtuous and religious parents have been so afflicted--how far, through their own carelessness or unwisdom, it would not be easy or discreet to decide.
The first and most essential guarantee for truthfulness in a family is the existence of perfect openness and confidence between parents and children. Where father and mother are severe and harsh, or indifferent and careless, sons and daughters are likely to go their own way, pursue their own plans, without reference to the pleasure and approval of their proper guardians. In such circumstances, where there is no frankness in the relations in question, children are almost sure to conceal their pursuits and sports and companionships from those who should be most able to guide and control them. Deceit and concealment are most likely to lead to direct falsehood. On the other hand, when parents encourage their children to live on open terms with themselves, when they interest themselves in their children's studies, games, and society, when there is no hiding and no reticence, temptation to falsehood is diminished; and, not only so, but truth is spoken naturally and without effort.
We shall not encourage truthfulness on the part of our children by treating them with suspicion. Unless there be reason for doubting a child's word, it is well to trust him. Of course, a liar must be exposed and checked, watched, remonstrated with, and even punished. But, on the whole, trust elicits truthfulness. When a well-disposed child finds that he is trusted, he takes a pride and pleasure in speaking the truth, and realizes the community of confidence which dignifies human relationships and society.
Highly important, of course, is it that parents should set their children an example of perfect truthfulness, so that it may never be suggested to them that there is such a practice as falsehood. Parents are most likely to go wrong by failing to keep their promises or to fulfil their threats. It is well to be chary of both, especially the latter. No doubt, it is often inconvenient to give something, or to go somewhere, when the time comes to fulfil a promise; but to fail to keep one's word, and to make excuses--more or less plausible--is to shake a child's confidence in one's veracity, and to lead him to believe that truth is of but little importance. We cannot expect our children to practise a virtue which we practically assure them is of little or no consequence.
I need scarcely say that the parent who desires his children to be truthful will refrain from ill-temper and violence. Children are so much in their parents' power, and depend so largely upon their parents' favour, that we cannot wonder if they say anything in order to shield themselves from abuse and ill-treatment on the part of those in authority. A quiet and reasonable spirit and demeanour is as conducive to candour and veracity, as a hasty and petulant habit is to insincerity and evasion.
One practice may be mentioned as especially contributive to veracity--the practice of accurate observation. To know anything correctly is the first and indispensable condition of describing or relating it correctly. Carelessness in observation naturally leads to carelessness in characterization or narration. If an object is to be described, or an event related, the mind must be first directed towards apprehending it. Some children are satisfied with cursory glance, or an uninterested, superficial regard; how natural that such children should give an incorrect and misleading account of what has come under their notice! If it be urged that, in such cases, there is no falsehood, because there is no deliberate intention to deceive, the reply is obvious, that there is no fixed resolve and effort to tell the exact truth, and that there is indifference as to the creating of a false impression. The line is certainly not always clearly drawn between inaccuracy and falsehood. But surely there can be no doubt that conscientiously careful observation and truthful statement are very closely allied. It is well that children's intelligence should be trained in the accurate use of all their senses, and in the employment of their powers of speech. Morality is involved in both exercises.
Almost equally important is the cultivation of an accurate memory. It is not denied that the basis memory, physical and psychical, is natural and constitutional, that, in this respect, we are differently endowed from early childhood. Still, it is equally unquestionable that memory may be either neglected, or improved by training and practice. Children do not always recollect, any more than do adults; and imagination is often called in to do the work which should properly devolve upon memory. In such cases, there may be no deliberate intention to deceive, but there is no conscientious endeavour to be truthful. Certain it is, that to recollect with distinctness and precision is a very valuable habit, and a habit most conducive to truth. Two persons who have witnessed the same occurrence may, and probably will, give somewhat different account of it, for what interests and impresses one may not interest or impress the other; but if the accounts given are not merely different, but inconsistent and opposed, one or the other is, of course, erroneous. And it may be that prejudice, or interest, or imagination has coloured the vision and biassed the language of one of the two, and that his statement is wanting in, not only exactness, but veracity. Much of school training is designed both to enrich and to strengthen the memory of the young, but parents have a special responsibility in watching the development of their children's powers of retention and reminiscence. As they fulfil this duty, they foster and form the habit of truthfulness.
Another important process in moral discipline is the cultivation of the habit of accuracy in the employment of language. The loose, inexact, slipshod misuse of words is a kind of falsehood. It is one of the prevalent habits of our time, and is to be found in all ranks of society. Our noble, wealthy and expressive English is too often held in contempt rather than in veneration. Young people will not be at the trouble of thinking what is the right word, and use a word utterly inappropriate, so that the statement made is positively untrue. It has been calculated that ,not long ago, a peasant's vocabulary consisted of only some two or three hundred words. Instructed persons, in what is called a good social position--of course intellectually uncultivated--often draw upon a limited repertory for their stock of words, and consequently speak with conspicuous unveracity.
It is very important to cultivate in children the habit of moral fearlessness, which will go far to preserve them from yielding to any temptation to falsehood. We should train our children to dread nothing that may be encountered in the path of duty. This sounds rather magniloquent, when applied to a child's overcoming temptation to deceit, but there is moral conflict even a child's life, and on the bloodless battlefield of home and school. Children should be taught that it is even braver to tell the truth, and suffer for so doing, than it is in a good cause to endure blows or scorn. There is scope for courage, even in a child's life. Cowardice and falsehood go together, and bravery and truthfulness are akin. To suffer in well-doing is the lot and honour of the brave. I never admired a boy of mine more than when he defied the public opinion of the school, and courageously and truthfully denounced the cruel and cowardly conduct of his schoolfellows towards a younger, unoffending and helpless comrade.
As false-hood often takes the detestable form of slander, something may be done to guard child against untruthfulness, by encouraging him to think no evil, and to put, where possible, a good construction upon the conduct of others. People's actions and words are sometimes susceptible of two interpretations, one favourable, the other unfavourable. It is the mark of a mean, ungenerous spirit, to put the worst construction upon another's behaviour; it is falsehood and slander to affirm evil of another, where it is not certain that there is guilt. Against this kind of falsehood, parents may fortify their children by themselves taking a generous view of their neighbours, and refraining from speaking evil unless, where it is a duty, and also by encouraging a similar attitude and habit on the part of those over whose moral development it is their duty and privilege to watch.
It is well to relate to children instances of veracity which rise to nobleness, and to accompany such narratives with open expressions of admiration and of praise. I am thinking of the well-known story of the boy, George Washington, and of the incident in a Westminster election, when the late John Stuart Mill told the truth before a vast multitude of electors, well-knowing that his doing so might lose him his election. And the Christian parent will not fail to tell the children of Him who came into this world to bear witness to the truth, and who declared Himself to be "the Truth."
Proofread by LNL, May 2011